I have known someone a while, who in the past has been both a friend and an ex lover. He lives in another, relatively poor, country, and I met him whilst abroad. I thought I knew him well.
A few months ago we had an argument and contact ceased for a while. Then he started talking to me a little, saying that things have been going really bad for him business wise, and then within the last month it got even worse, ending in the business collapsing and him being homeless. He said he was sleeping in his car and couldn't even afford to eat. Then he asked me for money.
At first I thought it was a joke, but he was serious. It made me feel uncomfortable and I always changed the subject. Everyone told me not to help him, but I felt really bad for him, remembering the happy times we had together. He started to make me feel like I was a bad person for not helping him, then made me feel guilty by sending me pictures of the times we spent together, and said I 'destroyed' the image he had in his head of 'our' future. I don't think that was a fair thing to say, but it made me feel bad anyway.
Then, he told me he was giving up hope, and that he was going to have to move back across the country 400 miles away and live with his parents, and he was leaving that very night. He has always told me he hates his home town, and his parents are trying to force him to marry a girl, he told me of his fear, that if he goes back home he will never be able to leave again as he will be trapped. I felt so sorry for him, and coupled by feeling emotionally guilty, I agreed to send him money, £100 so he could rent a place to sleep and then get a job to earn some money.
He said thankyou, and that he will never forget what I did. Then the next day he didn't speak to me which felt weird considering I'd just gave him money, until I messaged him to ask if things were ok. He said that he is not allowed to rent the place until the 1st September, so now he is going back to his parents this night, for a vacation until then?
I feel weird about all this, and maybe I'm selfish but I feel bad about the money, as £100 is a lot for me and I don't really spend that much on myself, but I felt really sorry for him. I never usually give people money. He says I will get it back, but I know I won't as he will never get that amount to spare.
Was I scammed? Or am I an awful person to feel bad about helping someone in need? :S
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