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Relationship BPD

(Married 13 years, both work, 3 school-age kids)

I feel like I have relationship bipolar disorder.

Bedroom time determines my feelings about the relationship, as well as my overall mood as a person. I'm regularly accused that "sex is the only thing that matters to you!" and I can't say I disagree. I genuinely feel like if she didn't work, didn't clean, didn't spend any time with me, but couldn't keep her hands off me, that I would do everything else and still be immensely happy.

I'm HD, she's somewhat LD, but not to the degree that a lot of people complain about here. Our main problem is not the LD, but medical issues for which she's seeking treatment. It's also worth mentioning that I really wear my emotions on my sleeve. Whatever I'm feeling is very obvious to those around me.

For the past two weeks, things have been great. I've been satisfied, and therefore I've felt very close to her, I've been very doting, I've taken more cleaning initiative, I've had a stronger desire to spend time with her. I've been really happy as a person.

But yesterday was rough on her. She's hitting the crampy point in her cycle, and this month is really rough. I've given massages, but they don't really help. She's never had a regular gynecologist, and the one that's been treating her doesn't seem to be listening. She's seeking a new one and is even considering driving 80 miles back to where we used to live to see her old doctor.

After learning that our recently-great sex life is going on hiatus (for probably two weeks), my mood just kinda died. But then the fact that she has no control over it and is actively seeking treatment makes me feel Ń•hitty for feeling bad about it in the first place. Which just depresses me more. :(

In the event that her symptoms lighten up, I'm sure me being depressed is a huge turn-on. :rolleyes:

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