Ok so I just stumbled upon this site a day or two ago. Hopefully there isn't an old thread out there about this topic. I looked but didn't see one.
My situation: I discovered my wife's affair (and previous multiple cyber affairs) 6 months ago. It had only been going on for a month or two. (The physical affair)
Obviously I was destroyed. Completely caught off guard. I have since come to see what I did to make her feel unloved, unwanted, etc... I do not, and will not, take responsibility for her poor choices in seeking affection, acceptance, etc.. from other men, but our relationship was not thriving and I fully accept my responsibility there.
She had reached the point where she wanted out, but my reaction to all of this gave her pause. I forgave her right away. I have been doing my best to love her unconditionally ( I know some say it is nuts and i have no desire to be taken advantage of, but I took a vow and I meant it...)
This has brought us to the point where by mutual agreement I have been giving her space ad we have in essence been separated but living in the same house (I sleep on the couch i the spare bedroom).
She has been acting friendlier towards me and I truly think we are on the right path.
However, a couple days she asked i f i wanted to come to sleep in the bed. I was stunned and said yes of course. Again, I tried to give her space and made no advances (she is like a scared animal right now). Eventually she came and cuddled with me (YAY!) :smthumbup:
Reflecting now I am thinking her request was twofold: 1) She was reaching out to me a little bit. 2) She wanted a man to cuddle with (not necessarily me).
My question here is: It's been 6 months. Eventually she is going to come to the point where is she is just flat out horny.
Again, I realize when the time comes it will probably be twofold: 1) She wants to try and be intimate with me again and 2) She just wants to have sex.
So should I just give in (yeah...really gotta twist my arm) or should I insist we discuss things and all that rigamarole first?
My situation: I discovered my wife's affair (and previous multiple cyber affairs) 6 months ago. It had only been going on for a month or two. (The physical affair)
Obviously I was destroyed. Completely caught off guard. I have since come to see what I did to make her feel unloved, unwanted, etc... I do not, and will not, take responsibility for her poor choices in seeking affection, acceptance, etc.. from other men, but our relationship was not thriving and I fully accept my responsibility there.
She had reached the point where she wanted out, but my reaction to all of this gave her pause. I forgave her right away. I have been doing my best to love her unconditionally ( I know some say it is nuts and i have no desire to be taken advantage of, but I took a vow and I meant it...)
This has brought us to the point where by mutual agreement I have been giving her space ad we have in essence been separated but living in the same house (I sleep on the couch i the spare bedroom).
She has been acting friendlier towards me and I truly think we are on the right path.
However, a couple days she asked i f i wanted to come to sleep in the bed. I was stunned and said yes of course. Again, I tried to give her space and made no advances (she is like a scared animal right now). Eventually she came and cuddled with me (YAY!) :smthumbup:
Reflecting now I am thinking her request was twofold: 1) She was reaching out to me a little bit. 2) She wanted a man to cuddle with (not necessarily me).
My question here is: It's been 6 months. Eventually she is going to come to the point where is she is just flat out horny.
Again, I realize when the time comes it will probably be twofold: 1) She wants to try and be intimate with me again and 2) She just wants to have sex.
So should I just give in (yeah...really gotta twist my arm) or should I insist we discuss things and all that rigamarole first?
Put the internet to work for you.
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