My husband is prone to aggressive and impulsive behavior, though he's never laid a hand on me, or not exactly.
That night 3 years ago he was playing a video game. He got agitated (only that particular game seemed to do it to him) and started throwing things on his desk. It wasn't the first time at that point, so I got mad because it had built up and happened many times and he still wouldn't quit it. So I started throwing things I had on my hands too (nothing valuable or messy, all of it was mine.) And said that from now on if he's not going to stop I'd break something each time he does. I was really mad. He got pissed more at me. Then eventually I stopped. He went "So, why did you stop huh?" and said a bunch of more things as if he wanted me to keep doing it, completely taunting me. I said "is that what you want? fine" and went ahead. He was completely infuriated, got off his chair, and went "you wanna do this? fine" and began throwing things at the floor by my feet (they could have easily ricocheted at me), came up to me and pushed me off of my desk chair, and I landed on the chair's metal wheel legs, giving me a giant apple sized bruise on my back.
He apologized hours later, I said I was not going to be in an abusive relationship. He said it wasn't going to be one. Eventually I forgave him. 3 years down the road our marriage is great, he doesn't do the things that make him that way, he never hurt me before or after that one incident. But I'm pondering if I should have put up with it to begin with. I know my reaction was wrong too, and made the situation worse, but at the time when I did it I lost my grip because I got sick of always trying to contain myself, when he's allowed to act like a psycho and do that ****, and if I do it, suddenly everything is my fault and I'm being crazy. It's like he thinks he's playing by different rules than everyone else, even though he did apologize and quit afterward.
That night 3 years ago he was playing a video game. He got agitated (only that particular game seemed to do it to him) and started throwing things on his desk. It wasn't the first time at that point, so I got mad because it had built up and happened many times and he still wouldn't quit it. So I started throwing things I had on my hands too (nothing valuable or messy, all of it was mine.) And said that from now on if he's not going to stop I'd break something each time he does. I was really mad. He got pissed more at me. Then eventually I stopped. He went "So, why did you stop huh?" and said a bunch of more things as if he wanted me to keep doing it, completely taunting me. I said "is that what you want? fine" and went ahead. He was completely infuriated, got off his chair, and went "you wanna do this? fine" and began throwing things at the floor by my feet (they could have easily ricocheted at me), came up to me and pushed me off of my desk chair, and I landed on the chair's metal wheel legs, giving me a giant apple sized bruise on my back.
He apologized hours later, I said I was not going to be in an abusive relationship. He said it wasn't going to be one. Eventually I forgave him. 3 years down the road our marriage is great, he doesn't do the things that make him that way, he never hurt me before or after that one incident. But I'm pondering if I should have put up with it to begin with. I know my reaction was wrong too, and made the situation worse, but at the time when I did it I lost my grip because I got sick of always trying to contain myself, when he's allowed to act like a psycho and do that ****, and if I do it, suddenly everything is my fault and I'm being crazy. It's like he thinks he's playing by different rules than everyone else, even though he did apologize and quit afterward.
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