I've finally gotten my wife to agree to see a therapist--ostensibly because of severe stress caused by her increasingly demented elderly mother (who abused her as a child) and milquetoast daddy. Both are sitting in the Lord's waiting room and can't go soon enough. My wife is their executor and conservator so she can't avoid.
BUT the real elephant in the room is her drinking--between one and a half and two bottles of wine a night. Her personality flips when she's intoxicated and she gets mean. She knows she drinks too much and resents/refuses help. In fact, I'm thinking that the stuff with the folks is simply an excuse rather than a reason to keep over indulging. It's the drinking that's causing us grief as a couple and apparently now it's got her doc concerned about super elevated cholesterol and the possibility of panchreitus.
I've posted previously about the alcohol use and I'm hoping the therapist will address this.
So, the question is: Do I write to the therapist in advance of Mrs Joy's first session in about two weeks and lay out what's going on? I have a background in psychology and a masters degree in organizational behavior, but nothing clinical or extensive on an individual level. I'm thinking my wife won't bring up the alcohol use and certainly not present it as THE problem. It'd take a pretty sharp therapist to pull out of her all the stuff I could lay out.
But, what about breach of trust issues with the wife I wasn't planning on telling her about the back channel communication. And, would a therapist welcome or resent the contact?
I'd be grateful for any comments and especially those from any therapists who may be members of the forum.
BUT the real elephant in the room is her drinking--between one and a half and two bottles of wine a night. Her personality flips when she's intoxicated and she gets mean. She knows she drinks too much and resents/refuses help. In fact, I'm thinking that the stuff with the folks is simply an excuse rather than a reason to keep over indulging. It's the drinking that's causing us grief as a couple and apparently now it's got her doc concerned about super elevated cholesterol and the possibility of panchreitus.
I've posted previously about the alcohol use and I'm hoping the therapist will address this.
So, the question is: Do I write to the therapist in advance of Mrs Joy's first session in about two weeks and lay out what's going on? I have a background in psychology and a masters degree in organizational behavior, but nothing clinical or extensive on an individual level. I'm thinking my wife won't bring up the alcohol use and certainly not present it as THE problem. It'd take a pretty sharp therapist to pull out of her all the stuff I could lay out.
But, what about breach of trust issues with the wife I wasn't planning on telling her about the back channel communication. And, would a therapist welcome or resent the contact?
I'd be grateful for any comments and especially those from any therapists who may be members of the forum.
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