Okay so I am looking for people's feedback, experiences, or just general viewpoints.
I've been dating my girlfriend almost 19 months now. I have two children from previous marriage, son (11) and daughter (8), GF has none. From the get go we talked about if this would be an issue.
Fast forward roughly two months ago GF and I moved in. Kids live with us about three days a week. There have been some trying moments since GF doesn't have kids, has been single and independent.
At first GF and daughter formed a great bond, while son was just off on his own. Lately, the GF and the son have been getting along really well, while my daughter and GF seems to have been strained (more from GF's point of view).
Granted my daughter was spoiled with attention from me when I was separated and divorced; I've since reeled that in. I've even had a talk with daughter about sharing time, this is not an issue for my daughter.
My GF seems to be easily frustrated lately by my daughter. I've noticed my daughter has had tendencies more to be clingy, follow us all around. I've talked with her.
Hard part for me is treating both children fair, like if I come down on my son for something I have to do the same for my daughter.
GF has pointed that out as well. I know my GF loves my, and she really does love my children. It's been tough transition for her. Where the noise of my children (for the most time) is a welcome sound for me, I know sometimes it's not for my girlfriend. I know it all takes time but I sometimes feel so challenged at trying to blend both worlds.
Maybe I sometimes have an unrealistic view of my children's behaviors, and my GF pointing them out is what I need but also tough to accept sometimes.
I've talked with GF and told her that I know that my love towards my children is different because they are my flesh, but that doesn't mean the love she has because she chooses to be around them isn't just as strong.
My GF has said numerous times that she knows my kids come first; and they should but I want so badly for our family to blend. If I lost my GF not only would I be devastated my children would be too.
What should my expectations be? Sorry I rambled but I'm just so torn right now.
I don't want to just be the divorced dad that stays single until his kids get older and out of the house; but I want to make sure I do right by my children and myself.
-Proud
I've been dating my girlfriend almost 19 months now. I have two children from previous marriage, son (11) and daughter (8), GF has none. From the get go we talked about if this would be an issue.
Fast forward roughly two months ago GF and I moved in. Kids live with us about three days a week. There have been some trying moments since GF doesn't have kids, has been single and independent.
At first GF and daughter formed a great bond, while son was just off on his own. Lately, the GF and the son have been getting along really well, while my daughter and GF seems to have been strained (more from GF's point of view).
Granted my daughter was spoiled with attention from me when I was separated and divorced; I've since reeled that in. I've even had a talk with daughter about sharing time, this is not an issue for my daughter.
My GF seems to be easily frustrated lately by my daughter. I've noticed my daughter has had tendencies more to be clingy, follow us all around. I've talked with her.
Hard part for me is treating both children fair, like if I come down on my son for something I have to do the same for my daughter.
GF has pointed that out as well. I know my GF loves my, and she really does love my children. It's been tough transition for her. Where the noise of my children (for the most time) is a welcome sound for me, I know sometimes it's not for my girlfriend. I know it all takes time but I sometimes feel so challenged at trying to blend both worlds.
Maybe I sometimes have an unrealistic view of my children's behaviors, and my GF pointing them out is what I need but also tough to accept sometimes.
I've talked with GF and told her that I know that my love towards my children is different because they are my flesh, but that doesn't mean the love she has because she chooses to be around them isn't just as strong.
My GF has said numerous times that she knows my kids come first; and they should but I want so badly for our family to blend. If I lost my GF not only would I be devastated my children would be too.
What should my expectations be? Sorry I rambled but I'm just so torn right now.
I don't want to just be the divorced dad that stays single until his kids get older and out of the house; but I want to make sure I do right by my children and myself.
-Proud
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