I am so confused and don't know what to do about my feelings towards my "ex". Me and this guy have been on and off since year 10 (I am now a second year uni student), we are in the same friendship group so knew eachother well and started to like eachother. At some points we have been very off - at one point i had a boyfriend (only for a few months) and i still thought about the other guy whilst with my ex, and sometimes we were very on - seeing eachother all the time etc. We have never been official minus for a few months in year 10, as i have always been scared (i'm not sure why), even though i love him very much. I went to university two years ago and it went through a few rather rough patches due to the distance between us, but we still said we loved eachother and during my holidays everything was lovely. At one point i made the terrible mistake of kissing my ex boyfriend whilst drunk and he saw and was very angry, however he did forgive me. I thought everything was good between us, we had spent a lot of time together etc but then i went on holiday and then straight after he went on holiday with his friends, was back for a day and went away for another two weeks, during this time he started dropping contact to me less and less. Leaving me very confused as the last time we had seen each other we had parted saying we love eachother and had spent the weekend together. Eventually he did not reply atall, and this went out for 3 months, with not one word to me. I was completly heartbroken and lost. At times very annoying, and i admit i did pester him for an answer in to why he had done this too me. We are still in the same frienship as we were in school, so during the christmas holidays i knew i would have to see him, we all went out and after people went back to his i was unsure if to go, but he told my friends i could come and text me "of course i could come" so i went along. The whole night he avoided eye contact with me, an d never directly addressed me, i left crying. Still having not talked to me i thought it was for sure over. But then at new years eve, one of my friends told me they had just been talking to him and he had said he still loved me, i was shocked so asked to talk to him right away. I was drunk and we kissed and sat together talking, he asked me why i liked him and told he he thought blanking me was the easiest way to get over me. I told him it was cruel. He left and text me saying he was sorry but we had to move on, then half hour later text me asking to stay at his, i stupidly went but when i arrived i regreted it and left not staying the night. I have since text him and he tells me we want different things, but never explains anything to me. Why did he hurt me so much? If he had explained everything to my face then i would not have lived with 6 months of sadness. I can't move on cause he wont talk to me about what happened, and i can't stop texting him cause i want answers. a nd why did he say he loved me, and kiss me! I'm so confused, i'm tired of 6 months of sadness. But all i want is to be with him. So please don't tell me to move on, i've tried everything.
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