I found out about my wife's affair in Feb. 2012. It had been going on about 2 months then. She then told every lie in the book and then some. I tried to get her to stop for months to no avail, then I got a lawyer and PI in July 2012. I got the goods of her and OM with our 3 children on several occasions. The lies of she was going to end the affair never stopped, but there was always an excuse to wait til tomorrow or the weekend or the next evening...just some lie excuse. In Oct. 2012 OM bought a house and I caught my wife there several times. In Nov. 2012 she moved into the new house that OM bought for her and our kids. She said he would not stay there overnight as we signed a separation agreement that included this. Keep in mind, this was "just to sort things out in her head", not to be with him. The lies never slowed down. But, she also never stopped seeing me, and has always said she loved me. I told her if it didn't stop I would divorce he r. The divorce was final in Oct. 2013, free of courtrooms because of the separation agreement. She never even got a lawyer. Day of divorce she said it was not over for us. I told her the OM had to go completely and she commit to repairing our relationship. She said OK. After many days of her planning to come home, which never happened, she opened up and talked like she hadn't since this started. That was 2 weeks ago. She said she would be home by Christmas. Never happened. She has always said she was scared of what OM reaction would be when she told him, so she would back out of the plan. Always said he had a temper. So, she said she would not spend New Years away from home. She said I promise you that, and told me what I would describe as a textbook response to what she needed to do in her life to repair our relationship. It all sounded great, but after 2 years of broken promises and lies, I didn't believe her. I just told her it sounded great, like she had i t figured out, and to just show me what she wanted. No more lies. New Year's eve, yesterday, she called and said she had ended it with him, but it didn't go as planned. I have always told her to do this with me by note, email, or letter, but she insisted it had to be done in person. Anyway she says he tried to end it all, saying he didn't want to live without her. Now, she tells me that she found out she is really not ready to come home. Says she has to straighten out her life and get away from him and figure out if she can commit to our relationship and family again. She says what happened yesterday was just overwhelming to her and now she's not sure what she wants again. Then she left again and went back to the house he bought and stayed there last night. Would someone please tell me what is going on here? I have been through this for 2 years now and I see no end in sight. I tried the 180, kids make this hard, and she comes right back in a day or two. Says she can't let go of me and our life together. I honestly wish we could save this family and be together, but I need this to end one way or the other. I wouldn't wish the last 2 years on my worst enemy.
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