This is pretty sad but I have zero friends to talk about any of this stuff and need to talk so here it is ...
I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 years. I have kids from a previous relationship - 3 grown and moved out and an 8 year old at home. The bf has been living with me for 2 years now.
It's been an okay relationship. The physical and emotional intimacy are pretty weak and he sucks at communicating but we are both pretty level headed and respectful of each other.
Because of his lack of sexual interest it has hit my self esteem pretty hard so have been struggling with depression this last while.
He went out last Thursday and got pretty smashed. When he came home he was pretty upset and asked if I knew anyone with a certain phone number and he figures someone was trying to set him up. He then showed me on his facebook how this woman had been making some very explicit propositions to him over the previous couple weeks. He wasn't really sure who this lady was. His responses to the facebook messages were always things like "I'm flattered but am involved". In the message thread she had included her cell number. He was upset because when he tried texting her there was some confusion and he had thought she had given him a bogus number.
As he was wasted I had my hands full dealing with him as that is when he gets into talking about his feelings so didn't really process what any of this meant but the next day as I was processing everything from the night before it occurred to me why the f**k was he texting this chick that he didn't know when he was all hammered up at the bar unless it was that he was trying for a booty call. And this couldn't even totally be blamed on poor judgement due to alcohol because he would have been completely sober when he added her number to his cell phone contacts.
I talked to him about it and he did what he always does when I talk to him and that's just sits quietly and doesn't say a word.
I guess there have been other suspicious red flags like on his cell phone there will be conversations with girls that all of a sudden are deleted from his history (we use each other's phones quite often).
I spent some further time stewing on this and talked to him again on Saturday and told him I think we need to break up. I don't think I can worry about what he may be up to every time he leaves the house. He said he'll take some time off work at the end of January and move out.
I feel devastated! Not even a week ago we were making plans to go on vacation in early February and having conversations about if something happened to me how he should still take care of my 8 year old. My kid will also be devastated by this. He has some emotional issues and has a strong bond with my bf.
For the record, I don't think he has ever cheated but I am guessing this isn't the first time he has crossed some lines. I am unsure if he would ever actually go through with cheating on me or if it's just the chase that he's interested in.
Do you guys think I'm over-reacting? I am just a mess at the idea of moving on from this relationship :(
Thanks for reading.
I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 years. I have kids from a previous relationship - 3 grown and moved out and an 8 year old at home. The bf has been living with me for 2 years now.
It's been an okay relationship. The physical and emotional intimacy are pretty weak and he sucks at communicating but we are both pretty level headed and respectful of each other.
Because of his lack of sexual interest it has hit my self esteem pretty hard so have been struggling with depression this last while.
He went out last Thursday and got pretty smashed. When he came home he was pretty upset and asked if I knew anyone with a certain phone number and he figures someone was trying to set him up. He then showed me on his facebook how this woman had been making some very explicit propositions to him over the previous couple weeks. He wasn't really sure who this lady was. His responses to the facebook messages were always things like "I'm flattered but am involved". In the message thread she had included her cell number. He was upset because when he tried texting her there was some confusion and he had thought she had given him a bogus number.
As he was wasted I had my hands full dealing with him as that is when he gets into talking about his feelings so didn't really process what any of this meant but the next day as I was processing everything from the night before it occurred to me why the f**k was he texting this chick that he didn't know when he was all hammered up at the bar unless it was that he was trying for a booty call. And this couldn't even totally be blamed on poor judgement due to alcohol because he would have been completely sober when he added her number to his cell phone contacts.
I talked to him about it and he did what he always does when I talk to him and that's just sits quietly and doesn't say a word.
I guess there have been other suspicious red flags like on his cell phone there will be conversations with girls that all of a sudden are deleted from his history (we use each other's phones quite often).
I spent some further time stewing on this and talked to him again on Saturday and told him I think we need to break up. I don't think I can worry about what he may be up to every time he leaves the house. He said he'll take some time off work at the end of January and move out.
I feel devastated! Not even a week ago we were making plans to go on vacation in early February and having conversations about if something happened to me how he should still take care of my 8 year old. My kid will also be devastated by this. He has some emotional issues and has a strong bond with my bf.
For the record, I don't think he has ever cheated but I am guessing this isn't the first time he has crossed some lines. I am unsure if he would ever actually go through with cheating on me or if it's just the chase that he's interested in.
Do you guys think I'm over-reacting? I am just a mess at the idea of moving on from this relationship :(
Thanks for reading.
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