Hi all,
My fiance is a very heavy drinker. As in, he drinks about 4 or 5 bottles of wine per week, plus a few beers. We were talking last night and marriage and starting a family. I expressed my concerns about his drinking. I told him I didn't want to bring children into an environment where their father drank heavily most nights of the week.
He told me that once we have children, he will cut his drinking right back (to just a couple of drinks per week). He then dropped a bombshell: apparently the reason why he drinks so much is because he feels he has "nothing to live for". But if we have children, he'll feel like his life would have meaning, and he wouldn't get drunk anymore.
The thing is, I just don't know whether I can trust him to hold to his promise about cutting back his drinking. I believe that his intentions are good, and that he truly intends to stop once we have children. But my concern is, what if he can't? What if we have children, and things get stressful, and he starts drinking heavily again?
What do you guys think? Is it possible for people to completely change their unhealthy habits (eg heavy drinking, smoking, etc) once children arrive? Can he change? Should I agree to have his babies and just hope for the best?
My fiance is a very heavy drinker. As in, he drinks about 4 or 5 bottles of wine per week, plus a few beers. We were talking last night and marriage and starting a family. I expressed my concerns about his drinking. I told him I didn't want to bring children into an environment where their father drank heavily most nights of the week.
He told me that once we have children, he will cut his drinking right back (to just a couple of drinks per week). He then dropped a bombshell: apparently the reason why he drinks so much is because he feels he has "nothing to live for". But if we have children, he'll feel like his life would have meaning, and he wouldn't get drunk anymore.
The thing is, I just don't know whether I can trust him to hold to his promise about cutting back his drinking. I believe that his intentions are good, and that he truly intends to stop once we have children. But my concern is, what if he can't? What if we have children, and things get stressful, and he starts drinking heavily again?
What do you guys think? Is it possible for people to completely change their unhealthy habits (eg heavy drinking, smoking, etc) once children arrive? Can he change? Should I agree to have his babies and just hope for the best?
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