The past year has been a really difficult one. I fell into a severe depression. Every single second of my life was agony. I was also diagnosed with severe social anxiety and BDD. I went from a high performing student to a student under-performing because of everything that was going on. I had to leave sixth form and take a few months out, after attempting to take my life. My parents wanted me to have a fresh start, and in September I started at a much bigger school with over 3x the number of people in my year compared to my former sixth form.
I got 2 bad haircuts which didn't help the situation but I managed to do ok. The first 3 weeks I was a mute - found it very difficult to speak to people. Now I've definitely opened up more, but I'm still suffering on the inside. I'm wondering if starting at a new big school was pretty much the worst idea ever considering how severe my social anxiety and depression was. It really doesn't help that people are a lot more judgemental and bitchy here than in my former school. Everywhere I go people are always talking about other peoples looks, either negatively or positively and it really isn't helping me.
I have made friends and the school counsellor is really nice, but I feel as if the severity of my depression is coming back again. I've not exactly been happy the past few weeks but this week I feel as if it's coming back full-on. I've been a total emotional wreck. Unfortunately the extreme thoughts have come back again. Should I have started at a smaller school or even been home schooled instead? Did you think the decision to go to a huge big school for someone with my mental disorders was wise?
I got 2 bad haircuts which didn't help the situation but I managed to do ok. The first 3 weeks I was a mute - found it very difficult to speak to people. Now I've definitely opened up more, but I'm still suffering on the inside. I'm wondering if starting at a new big school was pretty much the worst idea ever considering how severe my social anxiety and depression was. It really doesn't help that people are a lot more judgemental and bitchy here than in my former school. Everywhere I go people are always talking about other peoples looks, either negatively or positively and it really isn't helping me.
I have made friends and the school counsellor is really nice, but I feel as if the severity of my depression is coming back again. I've not exactly been happy the past few weeks but this week I feel as if it's coming back full-on. I've been a total emotional wreck. Unfortunately the extreme thoughts have come back again. Should I have started at a smaller school or even been home schooled instead? Did you think the decision to go to a huge big school for someone with my mental disorders was wise?
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