For all of those who have given me sound advice regarding my husbands "tantrums"...thanks...and let me say...I am listening!
We traveled to a winter theme park last nite...what should have been a 1 hour drive was, with traffic, a 2 hour drive...putting my H in a bad mood (when is he not?)....but when my son dropped a plastic toy in the car and wanted "mama" to pick it up, I unbuckled my seatbelt, ,turned around to give my son his toy (I was NOT driving my H was ) and started to give it to him when my H started screaming at me..."You banged into my arm and I could have gotten us into an accident!!"
We were not in an accident.
I apologized.
Then he said in a menacing tone.."You're SORRY???? Is SORRY sufficient if we're all DEAD???"
I said again that I had apologized and dropped it.
he snickered again.
Later, at the park, while he was calmer, I asked how he was feeling...he said, "fine..why?"
I said he seemed stressed in the car.....and he didn't know what I meant..then I said, "you snapped at me."
He said, "Of COURSE I snapped at you...you almost got us killed,"...I said while I understood he was frustrated..he didn't have to be so mean....he kept bickering back at me.."You could have KILLED US???" and I said again in a calm tone..."you didn't have to be so mean...., you were mean."
And that's it.
I got on a ride with my son.
When I got off...he was happier, calmer and NICER throughout the rest sof the trip.
I'm going to implement everyone's advice and CONFRONT his behavior at a calmer moment...
each time.
seems like it is working....
Thanks TAM
We traveled to a winter theme park last nite...what should have been a 1 hour drive was, with traffic, a 2 hour drive...putting my H in a bad mood (when is he not?)....but when my son dropped a plastic toy in the car and wanted "mama" to pick it up, I unbuckled my seatbelt, ,turned around to give my son his toy (I was NOT driving my H was ) and started to give it to him when my H started screaming at me..."You banged into my arm and I could have gotten us into an accident!!"
We were not in an accident.
I apologized.
Then he said in a menacing tone.."You're SORRY???? Is SORRY sufficient if we're all DEAD???"
I said again that I had apologized and dropped it.
he snickered again.
Later, at the park, while he was calmer, I asked how he was feeling...he said, "fine..why?"
I said he seemed stressed in the car.....and he didn't know what I meant..then I said, "you snapped at me."
He said, "Of COURSE I snapped at you...you almost got us killed,"...I said while I understood he was frustrated..he didn't have to be so mean....he kept bickering back at me.."You could have KILLED US???" and I said again in a calm tone..."you didn't have to be so mean...., you were mean."
And that's it.
I got on a ride with my son.
When I got off...he was happier, calmer and NICER throughout the rest sof the trip.
I'm going to implement everyone's advice and CONFRONT his behavior at a calmer moment...
each time.
seems like it is working....
Thanks TAM
Put the internet to work for you.
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