My predicament :
I seem to attract girls, but I seem to be incapable of attracting intimacy?
Context:
I seem to undergo this repetitive five-stage process with girls:
We get physical > it becomes a frequent thing > she shows all the tell-tale signs of wanting something more (frequent texting, sharing personal stuff etc.) > I bring it up > they reject me.
This has happened to me twice in the last 8 months.
GIRL A: The first girl was a girl I met during my gap year. She was the most charming person ever and she genuinely seemed to unconditionally want me (despite massive cultural differences between us, she would show a natural interest in my family, be curious about my childhood, tell me a lot about her family etc.) Yet when I tabled the idea of us being more than just a fling, she knocked it out of the park.
GIRL B: This repeated again with an equally charming girl I fell for during Freshers' Week. She was not as into me as my gap year romance but again she showed tell-tale signs of wanting to get serious (confiding in me, cuddling before sleep, frequent texting etc.). Again, when I suggested the idea, she did not seem into it.
Admittedly, something happens in the 'she might want something more' phase where I start to panic and do not know how to react. I genuinely have this complex where I think I am not deserving of intimacy and no girl could possibly want something serious from me. It is potentially here I f*** things up. But despite that, the last situation with Girl B has worsened this complex of mine and has sent me down a spiral of seeking meaningless encounters with girls I have no genuine interest in just to keep myself distracted.
IN SHORT: Has anyone felt that they are not good enough to deserve intimacy?
There is a huge lad culture in my uni and an incredible pressure on guys to compose themselves and 'keep it together' - so i'm turning to you TSR and I would appreciate a mature response! :D
I seem to attract girls, but I seem to be incapable of attracting intimacy?
Context:
I seem to undergo this repetitive five-stage process with girls:
We get physical > it becomes a frequent thing > she shows all the tell-tale signs of wanting something more (frequent texting, sharing personal stuff etc.) > I bring it up > they reject me.
This has happened to me twice in the last 8 months.
GIRL A: The first girl was a girl I met during my gap year. She was the most charming person ever and she genuinely seemed to unconditionally want me (despite massive cultural differences between us, she would show a natural interest in my family, be curious about my childhood, tell me a lot about her family etc.) Yet when I tabled the idea of us being more than just a fling, she knocked it out of the park.
GIRL B: This repeated again with an equally charming girl I fell for during Freshers' Week. She was not as into me as my gap year romance but again she showed tell-tale signs of wanting to get serious (confiding in me, cuddling before sleep, frequent texting etc.). Again, when I suggested the idea, she did not seem into it.
Admittedly, something happens in the 'she might want something more' phase where I start to panic and do not know how to react. I genuinely have this complex where I think I am not deserving of intimacy and no girl could possibly want something serious from me. It is potentially here I f*** things up. But despite that, the last situation with Girl B has worsened this complex of mine and has sent me down a spiral of seeking meaningless encounters with girls I have no genuine interest in just to keep myself distracted.
IN SHORT: Has anyone felt that they are not good enough to deserve intimacy?
There is a huge lad culture in my uni and an incredible pressure on guys to compose themselves and 'keep it together' - so i'm turning to you TSR and I would appreciate a mature response! :D
Put the internet to work for you.
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