So, I am not yet divorced. I think about 50 days or so, but when my wife gave me the ILYBINILWY speech, not long after I started reaching out to people I probably should have kept in touch with. When I was married I let old friends go and focused on family.
Anyway, one of those people was a sometimes close friend from college. Turns out she is a single mom of a 10 year old boy and also a teacher about 3 blocks frommy house.
We never had anything romantic in college-- she actuallly dated one of my roomates in high school and for awhile in college, and that is how we met. I did remember her quite fondly as she is a sweet girl. She gave me a great book of poems when I graduated with a really nice note in it about my future.
She put a new pic on FB and I sent her a message, she messaged back that she was glad to hear I am back in the area, I said we should meet up, we went out last Friday. Things really clicked.
She has a ton of the same interests as I do--interests that are important to me and that I have let go from my life in a lot of ways. Interests that not alot of my friends or people I know care alot about. She is really pretty and very very kind. My wife was more of a taker so I went the better part of the last decade kind of begging for any affection, or even just thoughtfulness.
My issue is that she is not my wife. My wife has not moved out yet, so maybe it is just being around her. I dont know. I do not want to rush anything with the new girl but I feel myself retreating in a way that i dont really get. I think it is b/c of something superficial, that she is physicallly not my wife. Not really sure how to deal with this. The new girl is nothing but supportive and we laugh and relax and talk. I do not know if I can take it to the next level, and she has not pushed it. A big part of me wants that but i am not fully committed to her right now.
Is the ILYBINILWY (Oct 31)/pending divorce the reason for this? I feel like it is definitely affecting my ability to move here.
Ok, I know it is too soon. I am going to get that a lot here. Id love to believe that she is not a rebound-- she is someone I have known for nearly 20 years and always cared about. She is not in a situation where she would smother me-- she has her boy and her own things going on (she has 3 nights a week where the boy stays with his dad and i will have my kids 3-4 nights a week).
Total rant. I do NOT want to talk to her about it, or at least not too in depth. I enjoy our time together and dont want to add some sort of awkward weight to the positive, happy vibe we seem to have when together.
Thanks for listening....
Anyway, one of those people was a sometimes close friend from college. Turns out she is a single mom of a 10 year old boy and also a teacher about 3 blocks frommy house.
We never had anything romantic in college-- she actuallly dated one of my roomates in high school and for awhile in college, and that is how we met. I did remember her quite fondly as she is a sweet girl. She gave me a great book of poems when I graduated with a really nice note in it about my future.
She put a new pic on FB and I sent her a message, she messaged back that she was glad to hear I am back in the area, I said we should meet up, we went out last Friday. Things really clicked.
She has a ton of the same interests as I do--interests that are important to me and that I have let go from my life in a lot of ways. Interests that not alot of my friends or people I know care alot about. She is really pretty and very very kind. My wife was more of a taker so I went the better part of the last decade kind of begging for any affection, or even just thoughtfulness.
My issue is that she is not my wife. My wife has not moved out yet, so maybe it is just being around her. I dont know. I do not want to rush anything with the new girl but I feel myself retreating in a way that i dont really get. I think it is b/c of something superficial, that she is physicallly not my wife. Not really sure how to deal with this. The new girl is nothing but supportive and we laugh and relax and talk. I do not know if I can take it to the next level, and she has not pushed it. A big part of me wants that but i am not fully committed to her right now.
Is the ILYBINILWY (Oct 31)/pending divorce the reason for this? I feel like it is definitely affecting my ability to move here.
Ok, I know it is too soon. I am going to get that a lot here. Id love to believe that she is not a rebound-- she is someone I have known for nearly 20 years and always cared about. She is not in a situation where she would smother me-- she has her boy and her own things going on (she has 3 nights a week where the boy stays with his dad and i will have my kids 3-4 nights a week).
Total rant. I do NOT want to talk to her about it, or at least not too in depth. I enjoy our time together and dont want to add some sort of awkward weight to the positive, happy vibe we seem to have when together.
Thanks for listening....
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