I'm 20, fairly fit, mentally lazy and relationship wise, a bit naive, but generally I'm a pretty mature guy. Without sounding arrogant, I generally have the answers to the questions I'm faced with, and my decision making is sound etc - people have said before that I'm a mature guy.
In my day-to-day life, I like doing funny/silly things, which can make me come across as a pretty youthful/immature guy... I sometimes like tapping people on their far shoulder and enjoying them turn their heads the opposite direction to me, I sometimes like insulting people with cuss-words you'd normally only use if you were under 10/a teenager, I like doing stupid **** and trying out new things even if it makes me look like an idiot, a little bit of an attention-seeker but not really.
So why is that whenever I talk to a girl younger than me, I feel really old? Partially it's my fault because generally I talk to, and get on with, girls younger than me, better than girls who are older than me (I mean girls between the ages of 16-18). Or even for girls my own age, I somehow get along with those better who are under-confident/treat guys like they're an older brother/tell guys or give off the impression that they have self-esteem problems. But the thing is, it's hard for me to get in situations where I can talk to girls older than me, and I guess whilst I do enjoy it, girls older than you are genuinely hard to pull (into a relationship).
I always feel like it ends up in the situation where I end up giving the girl advice, I end up being some kind of 'don't worry, you're young, things will work out soon' type of mentor for them or something. Whether this advice is about a break up or about their UCAS or whatever the ****, it always, always feels like I'm older, more mature, hardened by life or something. It just feels like I'm 'there' for them in their time of need, and that I'm qualified for the role because I'm a mature guy, and that's my only role.
And I really, really don't want to feel like that, I want a girl who'll be my equal, who I'll go to for advice, who I'll have fun with rather than try to spend my time convincing them that they actually are beautiful or whatever. I'm only 20, I don't feel like my role in a relationship should be that of an older brother, like I said before, I'm definitely a young guy, I don't enjoy having to take this role on. And this is across everything, girls I meet at uni, girls I met at school, girls from TSR who I've had PM conversations with, girls at parties/clubs not so much but just a little. Sometimes I feel like it's a deliberate tactic from girls to proclaim their low self-esteem just to get some male attention.
What do I do to counter this, how can I steer conversations to stop this happening, and how do I get to know girls who are more confident etc? For the last 4 years, since I was 16 and I really got involved with girls in that way, I've generally played the role of sympathiser, mentor, advisor, whatever, and I really cannot be ****ed to do it anymore.
In my day-to-day life, I like doing funny/silly things, which can make me come across as a pretty youthful/immature guy... I sometimes like tapping people on their far shoulder and enjoying them turn their heads the opposite direction to me, I sometimes like insulting people with cuss-words you'd normally only use if you were under 10/a teenager, I like doing stupid **** and trying out new things even if it makes me look like an idiot, a little bit of an attention-seeker but not really.
So why is that whenever I talk to a girl younger than me, I feel really old? Partially it's my fault because generally I talk to, and get on with, girls younger than me, better than girls who are older than me (I mean girls between the ages of 16-18). Or even for girls my own age, I somehow get along with those better who are under-confident/treat guys like they're an older brother/tell guys or give off the impression that they have self-esteem problems. But the thing is, it's hard for me to get in situations where I can talk to girls older than me, and I guess whilst I do enjoy it, girls older than you are genuinely hard to pull (into a relationship).
I always feel like it ends up in the situation where I end up giving the girl advice, I end up being some kind of 'don't worry, you're young, things will work out soon' type of mentor for them or something. Whether this advice is about a break up or about their UCAS or whatever the ****, it always, always feels like I'm older, more mature, hardened by life or something. It just feels like I'm 'there' for them in their time of need, and that I'm qualified for the role because I'm a mature guy, and that's my only role.
And I really, really don't want to feel like that, I want a girl who'll be my equal, who I'll go to for advice, who I'll have fun with rather than try to spend my time convincing them that they actually are beautiful or whatever. I'm only 20, I don't feel like my role in a relationship should be that of an older brother, like I said before, I'm definitely a young guy, I don't enjoy having to take this role on. And this is across everything, girls I meet at uni, girls I met at school, girls from TSR who I've had PM conversations with, girls at parties/clubs not so much but just a little. Sometimes I feel like it's a deliberate tactic from girls to proclaim their low self-esteem just to get some male attention.
What do I do to counter this, how can I steer conversations to stop this happening, and how do I get to know girls who are more confident etc? For the last 4 years, since I was 16 and I really got involved with girls in that way, I've generally played the role of sympathiser, mentor, advisor, whatever, and I really cannot be ****ed to do it anymore.
Put the internet to work for you.
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