| Let me start off by saying I have am very appreciative for any advice on this matter! My name is Shar and I am a believer; my husband and I are both fervent believers in our faith and have a deep love and understanding for Jesus Christ. But despite that my marriage seems to be failing. My husband and I have been together for almost 4 years and married for almost 2. We have had many ups and downs but have always worked through them. In January before my 25th birthday (my husband is 34) I was diagnosed with a rare form of Non Hodgkin Lymphoma in my throat. We were devastated by the news but fought the good fight with chemo and radiation and now I am healed, much of that being because of Christ. But throughout my treatment and now that we have moved my husband has been more and more discontent with his role and with me. I had to stop working (I was a full time HR Generalist for the county) and had to stay home to do treatment and heal. During this ti me all the bills and finances were on him. At first he was ok with it but as time went on he became increasingly negative, telling me I need to go back to work and support him when this is over because I am young and he has supported me. After completing chemo we decided to get a fresh start and move just the two of us to Oregon; since we had no family support during my illness we didn't think it would be that hard just having to rely on each other. But from the moment we arrived he has been ornery, nasty and unloving. We have watched sermons together on marriage and faith by his favorite pastor John Macarthur and despite his preachings about what are the man's responsibilities to the marriage he disagrees. His conflict with his role in our marriage has made life unbearable for me. You would think that a man, any man after the possibility only 5 months ago of losing your wife after only being married a short time would be grateful and happy but instead he calls me horrible n ames (the B word daily, yells at me, always tells me how I am not doing things right or at all) he bullies me and than tells me he can talk to me however he wants. But if I tell him to stop he tells me to shut up. Its saddening really, I didn't want to go back to working before but I am praying I get this job so I can be away from him. I am exhausted, I am still mentally and emotionally recovering from being sick and moving across the country, something he has never asked me if I am recovered from (we moved to Oregon from Texas in June). I am getting closer and closer to the end of my rope. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated, I am at my wits end.. I just want to know what can I do to make this situation better? |
No comments:
Post a Comment