| I feel so paranoid, I must be going insane and I've noticed the forum members here are straight-shooters, so I figure y'all can tell me if I'm just insane :) Context: My husband and I have been going through a rough patch. At one point I was sure we were going to separate, and he went home to Texas for a couple weeks. Things still aren't perfect but we're going to counseling and have at least verbalized willingness to work on things rather than separate. One of the things that caused our fighting to escalate before he left for Texas was his forgetfulness of his ring. He never forgot it before, but suddenly a few months ago his finger "started hurting" after I squeezed his hand during a medical procedure. Okay, I figured I had bruised the bone or something and it just needed to heal, but after about six weeks I was a little weary and asked him to start wearing it again. He would put it on then take it off later. When he flew to Texas, he "forgot" it. (With all this said, at one point I did say "fine, if rings aren't important I won't wear mine either" and he got very upset) He said multiple times "I'll put it on a chain" and I was fine with that, as long as he has it on him, but he never followed through. The entire time he was in Texas he barely talked to me, and I found texts when he got home from a female high school friend in which he told her that he was "separated, but it was a good separation" and that "he and the ex (me)" were still "good friends". He swears nothing happened and they never met in person. Right after he got back he put a password on his phone and refused to tell me the password; for example, yesterday I asked to borrow his phone to use the calculator and he put in the password and turned the phone so I wouldn't see it. Maybe that's my fault; I snooped. In the past he was still speaking with and visiting an old ex who made it clear she was still interested in him and even after I asked him to stop talking with her he continued. It's not an excuse but that's my reason for being a little less than trusting. After he came back from Texas, he made a point of putting his ring back on, and we started counseling, and everything seemed to be going better...but for the last week and a half, he's been going out every single night with a guy friend of his (I introduced him, met the guy at work) and staying out late. He says me asking him when he'll be home is controlling; I just want an estimated time, like "around 10" or "before 1", and I've said as much to him before. I brought up that it bothered me he's been gone so much, especially since I work long hours and never get to see him, and asked that he cut back on his hanging out time (say, to two days a week versus every day); he said he would but went out that same night despite my protests. He "forgot" his ring tonight and still isn't home (he's been gone for nearly 12 hours). I don't know what to think. I want to make this work so badly but if he's already cheating or planning to I don't know what there is for me to work on. Please help me. | |||
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