My first love and first husband about to be lost

I've been to hell and back in the last month. I've been recommended the you lovely ladies by a friend of mine. Me and DH were college sweethearts but as all couples we still had our issues. Once I became pregnant and I was put on bed rest things went to their worst. DS was born and there were a lot of challenges to him and we never got the opportunity to make things right. Instead we just continued to fall into a spiral of negativity and hatred. I was naive as I thought what we had was for eternity and that we would never stop loving each other and as a couple we never properly addressed our issues. 4 weeks ago my husband told me he wanted to separate and he wasn't interested in taking a break or trying to make it work. I tried to persuade him to take a break and in the end he agreed. He's been out the house for a few weeks now although he comes back on Fridays to spend the day with DS. Things seemed to be getting better and I couldn't have been m ore thankful to god for giving us the opportunity to mend what we had broken. I started to become a happier person in myself and look at life with more positivity. Yesterday I was so gutted when DH told me it was all lies and he still feels the same. He told me he see's me only once a week when he comes to spend time with DS and he just didnt want to hurt my feelings more but the truth is that he just doesn't love me anymore and he doesn't feel anything when were together. Its just so heart wrenching. How does a person get over that when you dont believe in divorce and you believe you have married your soul mate? Regardless of our difficulties I love this man so much and when we married I imagined we would have a big family and grow old together. I asked him to consider counselling but he told me there was no point if he knows he just doesnt love me. Now I'm trying to make my arrangements to move out, become financially stable and move DS and our maid in with me eventually. I feel like my life is over in terms of the dream of a loving husband and a family. I don't want to have hope anymore because having hope is what keeps breaking me down when he tells me its over. If only magic wands really existed. I wouldnt wish for us to be perfect i'd just wish to go back to when the problems really started and make sure we made it better.

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