Walk-away Husband or mid-life Crisis?

This is the first time I've written of what's going on in my marriage. I'm 39 and been with my husband for 20 years (married for 13). I always thought we had one of those special bonds - that we were best friends as well as lovers. Sex has always been good and I thought our communication had always been good. We have two children (7 and 9). I'm a stay-at-home mom. This past November I noticed that he seemed depressed and I asked what was wrong. After probing to get him to open up, he basically said that he felt like our marriage had come to an end. I was floored. I thought he was joking. It's gone back and forth between us being good and (I think) as if we're going to be all right, and then he'll withdraw. At first he wanted to have sex even more and I was happy with that. Now he's withholding all together. When the kids were younger I definitely went through some '*****y' times, speaking passive aggressively (as a lot of moms do), but it was certainly not a lot. Now when we talk about our marriage he seems to only remember the bad moments, the fact that I don't tend to go to his baseball games. I've always been kind of the stereotypical guy in our relationship, not needing as much emotionally as him, and I see that I've assumed that he doesn't need as much as he does. Anyway, he has said that he is willing to see a therapist with me but I don't think he really means it - I think he's just too good a man to break my heart so completely and he's drawing it out. But then he's never actually said outright that he wants a divorce so maybe that means he really doesn't. He says he's just not in love with me anymore. Will my changing my attitude, the emotion that I give him, will that make him fall back in love with me? I don't believe there's another woman but I know he has gotten some attention from women recently and I'm sure he found that flattering. He still insists that I'm sexy and he likes hanging out with me and he loves me and cares for me, but he seems to still want out of our marriage. Any advice?

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