| So I read a few posts here and registered so I can vent but I really have not seen any solutions because I guess it's just not that simple. I know you've heard it over and over but here goes- I love my wife but I pay money for cam models almost daily. I've probably spent 30 grand in 4-5 years maybe more. Sites like imlive, livejasmin, naked etc I bounce around from site to site. Sometimes I look for hours for women, and I have a few who I see regularly. Sometimes I meet them off of the sites on skype and paypal them money directly and with a few I've had contact for years. Once one of them was stuck in another state, I was in another country at work, and I bought her a plane ticket and called the guy who had ditched her and scared him into taking her to the airport. Months later she came to my country to see a client and tried to get me to come see her but I wouldn't out of respect for my wife. It's just all out insanity. I even do it at work in my office or when my wife is asleep, I even did it on our honeymoon. I developed the addiction through being gone from home so much and finding sexual gratification through this channel and it's just spiraled out of contro l. I have like 5 grand worth of happy hour credits on imlive that I don't even use because happy hour isn't personal enough because other people are watching. But just the accumulation of that much happy hour credit means I spent a sh!t load of money there. Also my wife has caught me many times and I hate hurting her feelings but it's not enough to make me stop. I've never told anyone that I know about this problem and I don't expect anyone here to have a solution. The other crazy thing is now that I'm addicted to paying women for sexual favors I do it to normal women who aren't in the business. Facebook friends, ex girlfriends, women who are friends of friends on facebook, I have propositioned them. I think it's amazing how easily they go from "oh no you're married" to once I offer money then they're doing whatever I want. I've never fallen in love with any of them it's purely the lust factor and the control. Also I like receiving compliments from women who see me on cam, m ost of the time I think they're just doing it for the money but I have high self esteem so then again I feel a form of gratification from the compliments also......Anyways, I just felt like talking about it. I see from the other posts that I'm not alone and that many other guys are addicted to this also, I mean obviously it's a multibillion dollar industry. To the wives out there, I know you think I'm a piece of ****, I feel like it more often then not but my other head is stronger than the one on my shoulders sometimes. I would ask for help but I think that would be unrealistic....I may post some more ridiculous instances later as they come to me...this is only the tip of the iceberg. | |||
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