| First time poster...... A little history: Was married for 16 year with two wonderful children. Caught XH having affair with other women and hiring hookers when he traveled. This all but killed me, took years to realize that I wasn't the one at fault. He beat me down to where I was just a shell of a person, I was no longer there as me but as who he wished me to be. So single for twelve years, raised my kids 24/7, they are grown healthy adults with their own lifes now. So proud of them. I remarried 9 months ago to a truck driver who is based 7 hours away from my home. I didn't think I would have a problem with him being gone for long periods of time since I have been alone for so long. Also, red flag I choose to ignore, I'm his 7th wife. Yikes I know but I fell in love. A month after we were married he started having major health problems and this has lasted for 4 months with several major surgeries. I was happy to stand by him and be the supporting wife. He is now much better and back to work. However, he is pulling away from me and will not discuss the problems in our marriage, ie....no intimacy for 5 months. I try to hug him, kiss him, hold hands and he pulls away. When I ask why he is behaving this way, he will not answer me. He just states, why can't you be happy? This past weekend I drove the 7 hours to see him and try to rekindle the romance. It didn't work, he was just as cold to me as before. Ended up leaving and letting him know that I would be checking into an annulement or divorce. He didn't say anything and let me go, didn't text or call me for two days. Now we are texting but in a formal, cold manner...Like you is your day? He told me he wasn't going to change much. We have not spoken to each other since last Sunday. I don't want a divorce but haven't a clue on what to do. I can't keep my mind on work, at home I just sit and wonder why and cry. Yes, I have seen a counselor several times and she states that this looks like a normal pattern for my husband on how he handles things. He just needs me around to pay the bills, take care of the house so he doesn't have to worrry about anything but his job and himself. He has asked me to move closer to where he works but I have a hard time saying yes because of the no intimacy thing and his inablility to talk. Why should I give up a good paying job, my home, family when he is not giving the marriage the attention it needs to survive. I failed again at being able to make a man happy with me.:( Any advice would be helpful as I'm sitting on the fence waiting to fall....just not knowing which way to drive. | |||
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