| Sorry this may be long. A couple of weeks ago I had an argument with OHs sister because she thought I was controlling him. Every time we visit Newcastle we always stay at mine when we get back home back for the convenience because it's usually late. OH forgot when his sister asked him to feed the cats and I told him he wouldn't be home and he said why not? (He forgot we were going away) and I said well why would you? You're never home the night after being away. Anyway all of this ended up in a massive argument with his sister saying i'm controlling - far from it! OH has his own mind..... Now we've been together almost two years, i'm staying in Manchester to be with him (uni is now finished) so we're looking for a place of our own BUT his parent's aren't very happy about it. We went over to their place a couple of days ago and I ended up in an argument with his Mum - I kept my cool but it was frustrating... Basically they're not happy with OH renting, they want him to buy but we think it's too soon to buy together plus because i'm going back to uni to do a postgraduate degree in September, the size of the mortgage would be very low. So his parents are talking about kick starting a deposit and doing the government share scheme. They're happy only if Chris' name is on the mortgage and it apparently doesn't make a difference for me because I would of been paying rent to live in halls anyway. So my point is, how is it fair that i'd be paying 50% of the rent and bills, but would have no legal ties to the property? That's like paying half the mortgage off but having no rights......am I right to not be ok with this? His Mum said "well it's like you paying rent to a landlord, if they want to kick you out then you have no say in it" .......so I said "exactly". Obviously we're not planning on splitting up but none of us know the future do we? So why should I pay half of 'his' mortgage? I'd rather we wait until i'm employed 3 years down the line and get our own mortgage together. OH and I are very much 50/50 in our relationship, everything we do is split evenly because we're equals. He completely sees my point in this argument because he said if it was the other way around then he would feel the same way but his parents don't see it like that at all. They just want me to pay rent to him with no rights. If this is the way they're going to be then i'd rather we didn't have their help and find our own way in life. I'm so sick of his family thinking my OH is a push over. We're equals, we fully respect each other but his family seem to think I push him into things when that's not the case at all. Everything we do, we discuss, if we don't agree then we compromise. His Mum doesn't even recognise the sacrifice i'm making to stay here, it was never the plan but I want to for my OH despite having no family or friends down here. Arrrrrgh, I just wish they would back off, let their son make up his own mind and respect his decision. He's almost 28 for gods sake :roll: The only 'family' I had down here and they hate me. The entire visit, she only spoke to and made contact with Chris (bar one or two sentence here there) then when we left she told him "she'd talk to him another time" (obviously when i'm not there). And they've pushed him into making an appointment at the bank to discuss his "options" and his Dad is going with him. I'm fed up of being sidelined in relation to all these decisions when it's our future, OH and I are very serious about each other, I don't see why I should have to take a back seat like my opinions don't count. But I don't know if i'm being unreasonable or not? OH fully agrees with me on this. This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App | |||
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