| I know my marriage is dead and I know I need to let go. I just don't know how to do it. I'm already grieving for the loss. He is still living here and we go to marriage counseling. We have been married for 16 years, together for 17. We rarely if ever have sex. He says that I am pretty; but he isn't attracted to me because of my "mom-butt". We used to get along great, but now I really can't do anything right and he barely tolerates me. He says he isn't' having an affair. I keep giving him the green light to leave if he wants to. He is worried that if he does go try to figure things out for a month or year or whatever that he can't come back. Which is true. Once he is out, I will be sad, but I can heal. I am a very strong person and I would be just fine without him eventually. It's just that this is tearing me apart right now. I supported both of us until a few years ago. So most of the assets we have built up are from my hard work. I am afraid he is going to take that financial security away from me. He can be a really vindictive poop. I guess I need to figure out how to detach and just let go already. In all honesty, I'm not sure why I am still hanging on (albeit by a thread). I am so tired of his attitude towards me and his lack of respect. If I had a kid and that kid was treated the way I am; I would tell them to just stop the madness already. I have lost everyone in my immediate family and my dad is nearing death. I guess I am just running away from this. I just need to man up. Do you guys have any suggestions? Sorry for the missive here... |
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