| Hi - I posted on here a few weeks ago. In summary, married 34 years. I'm not happy and I've fallen out of love. I don't feel like we have much in common, but the biggest thing is I'm not attracted to him anymore. We don't have much of a sex life, and I'm ok with that because I'm just not interested. He just turned 60 and I will this summer. I feel like he is getting older faster than I am. I'm very bored. He spends most of his time in front of the TV. His hours at work have changed a lot and now he's home most of the time I am. I don't get much alone time. Ten years ago we lost a child to suicide. He started drinking a lot and was verbally abusive. I was afraid of him. His anger pushed me away and I started having an affair. That lasted for 6 years. It ended 2 years ago. I tried to pretend like I was happy and be grateful for what I have. Well, the bf & I just rekindled our relationship. I still love him and he told me he loves me and always did. I know I need to ask for a divorce but I'm afraid. My H used to have a very bad temper. He has been physically abusive in the past, but not for many years. He has a lot of guns, which makes me nervous. We have grown children (2 married and another getting married soon), and several grandchildren. When I ended the relationship with the bf 2 years ago, I think I did it to stay with the H for the sake of the kids and grandkids. But I am just not happy. I feel like there is so much more to life than sitting around watching TV with him. Sorry if this sounds rambling. I just need some advice and a listening ear. |
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