Exit strategy – alternates to divorce?

It's over. I'm totally exhausted. I thought I could make this work. I just can't do this anymore. Neither can our kids. Our two kids (16 and 18) have been wondering for years if we were going to divorce. The younger one is openly lobbying for it. I'm hanging on till at least June when the older one graduates high school. My STBXW (we are 50, 22 yr marriage, live in PA near Philadelphia) has definite anger management, paranoia and control issues. Directed not just at me but also towards the kids. She has essentially no relationship with the kids. They will talk to her when necessary but that's it. Awkward and superficial. This has been escalating for years. Nothing physical only verbal/emotional. (though she alluded recently in one incident to wanting to hit the older daughter to which I said "that would not end favorably"). Despite repeated efforts on my part (we are in MC. Again...), she has done nothing to resolve matters or to reconcile. With me or the kids. If only anger and indignance were Olympic sports. Guaranteed gold... Our relationship has devolved to essentially cohabitation. Nothing more. Leading almost separate lives under one roof. We talk but it's virtually a business relationship now. Anyway, I'm looking at exit strategies. My lawyer said flat out that divorce is long overdue. I just need to come up with the retainer and it's a done deal. My question – Has anyone managed an amiable split without the cost and trauma of lawyers? Do alternate scenarios exist? What do they look like? Or is full blown divorce my only option? (on a side note, I have my family assets. Stupidly, no pre-nup. She came into the marriage with nothing. If she makes a claim then all bets are off and it will get ugly. Especially since my parents immigrated to this country from war torn Europe with literally nothing, they live next door and worked like dogs for what we have. They are aware of what's going on and are seriously upset over the possibility of losing what they've worked their whole lives for. STBXW is an RN with a decent salary. She would be far from destitute financially) Honestly, I really don't care about the whether we are legally married or not. I'd be happy if she just left. I just want to move on with my life. I have zero interest in getting married again. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

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