| Hi everyone, I am new to TAM, but I am glad I found this site. Some background, I am 23, my wife is 24, and we have 2 beautiful little girls (3.5, 1.5). I know we are young, but we have a pretty good relationship. No infidelity that I know of, although I have been suspicious a few times. One of those times is when she went out for a GNO with her friends when our oldest was only a few months old (her one friend was notoriously ****ty, I mean, over 50 guys and she was only 23 at the time, and the other was early 30s w/ 2 teenage daughters, never married). They went to a party and then to a bar, with not much texting from her end to me. I hadn't heard from her around 2am, so I called her a few times, she never called me back until after 3, where in the background I heard her friends saying I was being a ***** and not to worry about her. She got home after 4am (I was pissed and still awake), and she was extremely drunk. I found texts from some guy asking what she is doing after the bar (he was the bass player in a band, no contact before that I know of). When I asked why they were texting and how she got his #, she said her older friend gave it to his sister for him? (makes no ****ing sense). Then came the FB pictures, there were pics of her kissing her friends a t the party and at the bar (disgusting enough), and then pictures of her with the bass player in the band up on the stage. She said she didn't talk to him (yea right), and that nothing happened. To this day, I don't think anything happened, but I don't know for sure. Some other things include her first boyfriend (that she lost her v-card to) texting her (before we switched #s) and now facebook messaging her from time to time. At first, she wouldn't tell me until after they had exchanged a few messages, nothing bad, just thanks, how are you, etc. He was living in Florida but recently moved back to our hometown, and he messaged my wife last night on Facebook asking how she has been. I should note, she cheated on the boyfriend she had when we met (that she didn't tell me about), with this first boyfriend, let's call him FruitCake. He is a complete loser, 26, ****ty job, drug addict, fat, ugly, etc. In comparison, I am almost 24, fairly attractive, intelligent, high paying career (medical, 6 figures), loving, attentive (sometimes too much, I admit that the kids and marriage have slightly beta-ized me from being the alpha I was when we met 6 years ago). She didn't answer him, says that "she was in a bad period of her life when she cheated on b f#2 w/ Fruitcake and just wanted to have a connection w/ her hometown? (long story, but her parents had to move to a ****ty, hick town from nice neighborhood). NO excuse IMO. Long story short, I don't think she would do anything, but I really don't know. I finished college (bachelor's in biochemistry) at 20, and declined medical school because we found out she was pregnant. I pretty much gave up my life goals to be with her and give her a very good life, something FruitCake never could. Am I right to worry? Or am I just overreacting. **Note: She said she would delete him from FB if I want her to (not sure why they are friends in the first place)? I told her that I won't make her do anything, she has to make the decision for herself, that I can't control what she does. I should also note that I travel for my job, I am on the west coast every other week for work, home for a week, gone for a week, etc. I know this is hard for her, because of getting the kids to daycare and getting to work on time everyday, but until we have a permanent person on west coast, my boss and I are splitting the time. Thanks for the input and advice, I know you guys know what you're talking about. | |||
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