We are Both Cheaters

Ok, so where do I start? My wife and I have been together for 25 years and married for 16 ½. Our sex life has not been great since kids 14 ½ years ago. We're both always tired, her more so. I try trust me. Also, since kids, she doesn't seem to like the way I touch her. Sex has become very vanilla. I will be honest, I have cheated on her with escorts on several occasions. But that was always just about the sex. Quick 1 hour of sexual gratification and I'm good. 4 years ago, I met a co-worker and we hit it off as friends right away. A couple months into our friendship, we end up making out and she gave me oral. I was devastated. I felt so much guilt. Over the course of the last 4 years, my friend and I have hooked up on numerous occasions, and I always felt guilt and told myself I needed to stop this. The guilt went away about 1 ½ years ago. We are "really good friends". She is getting re-married in a few months, and both of us would be devastated if something happened to the others relationship. Back in Nov, we admitted that we loved each other and even went thru a 2 month phase of "puppy love" with constant texting and phone calls and seeing each other twice a week. We both believe that it is possible to love more than one person in your life. I don't want things to change between my wife and I. even though we are more like roommates than lovers, I love her very much and cant imagine not coming home to her and the kids. Now the big part of my problem. A couple months ago I find my wife texting her old highschool bf. Ok now big deal, he lives 1500 miles away. Well, I see a couple of text that say "I miss u"…."I wish you were here". Then 2 days ago, she says he's coming to the area for business and she's going out with her old crowd for a "re-union". I tell her as long as it's a group. She says, "I'm married and so is T". Well I use Verizon integrated messaging so I can see all her text on my computer, and I find out that she is meeting just him. This was last night. This morning I look back at the text and she has the following: Me: I don't want to go home T : I didn't want you to go home Me: Thx for an incredibly memorable night.. XoxoSent T : Thank you! I missed you so much! Xoxo...I'm sorry I was so stupid & immature. I lay awake at night with so much regret Me: Please don't apologize.. I think a lot about what could have been but it's no ones fault. Its just the way things worked out. I will always have a very special place in my heart for you. I will really miss you xoxo. T : I miss you too and there is always a special place in my heart for you. Take care, drive carefully, sleep well & know that I am always thinking of you. Me: I'm always thinking of you tooSent Me: Almost home. Text me tomorrow xoxo Me: Morning Sent T: Hi! Good morning Me: Sleep well?Sent T : Nope. Couldn't stop thinking of you Me: Yeah.. I had the same problem Sent Me: We should have been awake together Sent T : I like that idea Me: Me too!Sent Ok….so I know she slept with him. I know I need to confront her, but that's the pot calling the kettle black. I know I should cut things off with my friend, but I can't stop seeing/talking to her. She obviously has an emotional attachment to him as well or maybe it's just escapism. I don't know what to do.

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