Just another vent of sadness, feel free to join me !

Right when I think I'm done - again ! They're getting fewer but when - are they going to just leave me alone ? Reality check yesterday. Very simple really but they had to deliver a new gas bottle out to my place and the guy says - now where do we send the bill to this add or your place in town - that's you too right - your wife . I said yeah that's my wife just send it to that add'. This way I don't have to pay a deposit you see . Later I thought to myself , I've just told this guy she's my wife - to save the deposit ;) , meanwhile though , this guys probably seen "my wife " , around town with an om - in front of everybody. She's not my wife , no wife of mine is running around town with an om. Unfortunately , it's about fkg time I got that one straight I think ! Sad but true . So with my daughter around to the last few days just as I know many of us here are dealing with , I've just felt like - well we all know just how it feels. Then I'm over at the back of the property today , I've just felt like sh@t and the next minute - I'm at the Pines. The Pines are 12 70ft high 100 yr old trees that we made into our playground. There's hamics and sun lunges , trampoline , little table , kids stuff and tree swing. We had it set up for the girls and for us - anyone , just a beautiful another world to go over to, hangout , play or escape. You can't see over there from around the house and so many times x or one of us would just pop out from the bushes and of the path from the house to the Pines looking for the rest of us . X , or me , or one of the girls , or a friend. Whoever it was would drag up a chair under these beautiful big old trees , talk about their day , say hello to the others,laugh , coke , or beer, or scotch, an ice cream, in hand. The girls would all be up in trees or running round in there somewhere , or playing tricks on whoever was sitting around. In the summer it was the coolest spot around . No one pops up through from the bushes anymore, no one over there to go see, sit with and chill after the day.We don't see my wifes car through the trees coming down the road after work anymore. With the exception of when my d's here and maybe a bunch of her friends , the Pines just feel cold , still and empty now. I never sit over there with anyone now , it's too sad. I just wanna move. Thanks for listening and sorry that I've probably depressed you.

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