| Hello. First off, I've been with the same guy for nearly 3 years now and we're good - but this same issue keeps cropping up. At first I really liked his parents, but slowly things started happening that have upset me and now I feel scared to go round his house from time to time because I can't help but think something's gonna happen again. My first (and last) boyfriend's dad was horrible to me. I mean absolutely vile - he'd mock the way I spoke in front of friends and family, would openly call me klutzy, dim, stupid, vacuous, a barbie doll... he was just a nasty man. My ex never defended me though and told me I couldn't take a joke - but I knew his dad wasn't joking and it wasn't funny. So naturally I'm a bit frustrated to find myself in the same situation again. It started when my current boyfriend's dad started taking the mickey out of my uni course, saying any old idiot could do it and it takes no talent, etc. If I'm eating something from the fridge that my boyfriend's made me he'll be like who's eating all MY food. If I'm playing scrabble (which I suck at but I play for fun anyway), he'll make comments on every move I make like "why are you doing that for?!" Just general unsavory comments. That's not the worst thing though, I can usually brush that stuff off with a laugh, no matter how grating it gets. There was one day when I was waiting in the doorway between the hall and the living room for my boyfriend to put his shoes on so we could go out. His dad walked past behind me and (to this day I don't really know how he touched me) hit my ass and when I turned round to ask him WTF he thought he was doing he said "well, it's not hard to miss it!". Total shock... my boyfriend asked what was wrong and I just said "your dad just hit my ass" but I forced out a laugh so it wasn't as awkward for the rest of his family who were sitting in the lounge. I didn't know what to say and I feel like I should have said nothing happened. As soon as we left I just like burst into tears I felt so disgusting and horrible. It took all the begging and pleading I could muster to just get my boyfriend to just drive away and not go back and go mental at his dad. There was no where on earth I'd hate being in more than that house at this point. It was a huge drama and eventually his dad apologised really awkwardly but he changed his stance on how he touched me - first it was a knee, then it was his foot... I still think he hit me with his hand. Either way it was all wrong. Ugh. I think he thought he was being funny and just didn't realise that doing that is weird and over the line. baring in mind his mum has never done anything to upset me - she's mollycoddles my boyfriend a bit but a lot of mothers do that so she's not a concern. She's lovely. So anyway since then I regularly get scared to go and see my boyfriend at his house, and it's such a tricky issue because obviously my boyfriend loves his parents, but sees my point of view too. He's always defended me whenever his dad has been rude to me and never fails to stand by my side when I feel like I can't defend myself. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What did you do? I just worry that if me and my boyfriend work out really well, I'm just gonna hate it if we "have" to invite them down for weekends or whatever else. I'm not really looking for people to join in slagging off his dad though - I just felt I needed to explain why I felt this way to begin with. I want to know what I can do because I feel totally stuck. | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
No comments:
Post a Comment