| My boyfriend is a great guy, he's just going through a lot at the moment, and being the person closest to him, I tend to be the on he takes it out on. I feel helpless in my relationship. I sometimes think I care more about my boyfriend than myself - he's mentally ill right now and I have put up with a lot of **** because I feel paralyzed with fear to make sure he's okay. However, I know it's not just the illness... it's that he feels I've put up with so much that I'll never leave him and it makes him think I'm desperate...which makes him treat me less then optimally...which makes my desire for affection greater...which in turn makes me look more desperate. How do I break out of this cycle? This is the opposite of how I'm used to feeling. I usually feel like the guy is more into me then I'm into him and have been treated very well until the break down of relationships. There's a quote that we teach people how to treat us. So how do I teach my current boyfriend that I deserve to be treated with more respect? Looking online there are two theories... 1. Be more of a bitch... this is a hard one because he is prone to panicking if he sees me withdraw any affection... assumes the worse and self-destructs. Stress makes his illness worse... I don't know how to do this without stressing him too much. I also think this is kind of like playing a game...which I don't really like the sound of? 2. Just act how I want him to treat me... just be loving and forgiving and there for him no matter what... the way I want to be treated. But how do you do this without acting like a doormat and getting taken advantage of? | |||
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