My husband and I have been together on and off since we were 13 years old. Married for 8 in April, back together solidly for 10. We have 3 kids, 2 surviving ranging from 16-4yo. We have had a really really rough marriage. I try to voice my feelin and they are always invalidated and he makes me feel like I have something wrong with me. Telling me how unattractive it is when I express my concerns. He is a master at menipulation and has had me in a downward spiral for longer then half my life.
My most recent concern is of his Facebook problem. He is always on his phone, always. I feel like our family is always in the back seat of his life, between partying, drinking, work and his "networking" life, as he calls his Facebook addiction.
Every year since our youngest daughter died I take time off of Facebook for lent. It really opens up my eyes as to how much he is really on it, and uses screen time to "escape" us. Even getting our children on screens so they leave him alone. It is driving me insane. I really feel it is unhealthy and has put us all in serious disconnect.
On top of always being on Facebook, he has numerous friends that are female and whom he doesn't even know. (That I know of) women all around the globe even. And he boasts about his large amount of friend requests to me. Then he goes and trolls on these women's pages. I tell him that I feel it is creepy and it makes me uncomfortable. But he goes and says "your jealousy is extremely unattractive" to make ME feel bad. Then I also catch him looking at porn, just Sunday morning when I was in the living room with the children. He told me it was because I didn't want to have sex with him, but we just had sex Saturday night.
He said when we got the smart phones that he never want to be "that guy" who is always on his phone, and boom, that is exactly what he has become. And naturally he blames me because I wanted a smart phone, which means he had to get one too.
Anyways, do you think it is normal or even remotely ok to have that kind of addiction? Or friends like that on Facebook?
He won't even consider my feelings, about anything, let alone this.
Am I just wasting my life beating a dead horse?
I feel like I've become a codependent enabler to his psychotic menipulitive behavior.
Is there anything I can do?!
We've tried counseling numerous times, he refuses to go and claims he has no issues whatsoever and it is all me.
His Quote: " if you didn't have a problem with what I do, there wouldn't be one"
He tells me all the time he wants our marriage to work and that he loves me, but none of his actions speak that.
I am at a loss.
My most recent concern is of his Facebook problem. He is always on his phone, always. I feel like our family is always in the back seat of his life, between partying, drinking, work and his "networking" life, as he calls his Facebook addiction.
Every year since our youngest daughter died I take time off of Facebook for lent. It really opens up my eyes as to how much he is really on it, and uses screen time to "escape" us. Even getting our children on screens so they leave him alone. It is driving me insane. I really feel it is unhealthy and has put us all in serious disconnect.
On top of always being on Facebook, he has numerous friends that are female and whom he doesn't even know. (That I know of) women all around the globe even. And he boasts about his large amount of friend requests to me. Then he goes and trolls on these women's pages. I tell him that I feel it is creepy and it makes me uncomfortable. But he goes and says "your jealousy is extremely unattractive" to make ME feel bad. Then I also catch him looking at porn, just Sunday morning when I was in the living room with the children. He told me it was because I didn't want to have sex with him, but we just had sex Saturday night.
He said when we got the smart phones that he never want to be "that guy" who is always on his phone, and boom, that is exactly what he has become. And naturally he blames me because I wanted a smart phone, which means he had to get one too.
Anyways, do you think it is normal or even remotely ok to have that kind of addiction? Or friends like that on Facebook?
He won't even consider my feelings, about anything, let alone this.
Am I just wasting my life beating a dead horse?
I feel like I've become a codependent enabler to his psychotic menipulitive behavior.
Is there anything I can do?!
We've tried counseling numerous times, he refuses to go and claims he has no issues whatsoever and it is all me.
His Quote: " if you didn't have a problem with what I do, there wouldn't be one"
He tells me all the time he wants our marriage to work and that he loves me, but none of his actions speak that.
I am at a loss.
Put the internet to work for you.
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