I feel like this came out of nowhere. I'm still in shock, kind of. My husband and I have been in counseling for a year, dealing with his anger outbursts and my overly emotional-ness. I do tend to get very emotional very quickly, which is hard for him since he is a very unemotional person. However, I feel like he has not tried to implement anything that we have been learning. It's like there's only one of us fighting to save our marriage. We have two small kids - and one has special needs. The other has some severe medical problems. We both work and are in professional, very demanding jobs. I know he's worried about money (although I grew up poor, so I'm not), but he doesn't talk about it with me and won't. I know he's worried about the kids, but again, doesn't like to talk about it. He has these awful rage outbursts and one got into a car accident when he slammed the brakes in the middle of the road (we got rear-ended) and our baby was in the c ar. We got whiplash. Baby was fine. Another time, he's pushed me. He's never hit me or the kids, but recently, he's been slamming his fists, doors and scaring me and kids so we run and hide.
He said he doesn't like who he is when he's with me. Of course, it's me. So he wants a divorce. He says he does not have an anger problem. He has a wife problem. I nag him, apparently. I want him to be partner at his law firm, which he isn't yet, and I apparently complain all the time. Personally, I feel like he isn't hearing what I mean, which is that I'm supporting him and want to connect with him emotionally, but I think he doesn't want to hear this because then he'd have to take responsibility for the kids - and me - being scared of him when he gets angry. Which is more and more frequent.
So - internet strangers - is this my fault? Am I responsible for his anger outbursts? What do I do now? He says he may not come home? I don't want a divorce, I want to help him. I love him and I do NOT want to lose my kids for even partial time in a divorce. Please help me. Thanks.
He said he doesn't like who he is when he's with me. Of course, it's me. So he wants a divorce. He says he does not have an anger problem. He has a wife problem. I nag him, apparently. I want him to be partner at his law firm, which he isn't yet, and I apparently complain all the time. Personally, I feel like he isn't hearing what I mean, which is that I'm supporting him and want to connect with him emotionally, but I think he doesn't want to hear this because then he'd have to take responsibility for the kids - and me - being scared of him when he gets angry. Which is more and more frequent.
So - internet strangers - is this my fault? Am I responsible for his anger outbursts? What do I do now? He says he may not come home? I don't want a divorce, I want to help him. I love him and I do NOT want to lose my kids for even partial time in a divorce. Please help me. Thanks.
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