I broke up with my ex in October last year. We had a long four-year relationship (great times mixed with a few bad) and a rocky break-up (she "fell" for someone else, made out with him at a party then went back to his place), complete with break-up/closure sex twice as late as November (she got rejected by said someone when she tried to take it further), and around Christmas kind of pushed each other away a lot. Since then she's acted mostly hostile towards me, neutral on the best of days. It's obvious she doesn't want me in her life and she's made that clear, especially after blocking me on social networks. I've respected that since and I'm staying away for good which causes me no end of pain but there's nothing I can do about it.
Ultimately I still love her a hell of a lot and I don't know why in spite of the way she's acted towards me recently, and at the same time I'm struggling to let it go so I can definitively move the **** on. I am wondering if I'm attached to the idea of happiness (we were a happy couple and engagement was on the cards) rather than actually attached to the idea of her, but then I ask myself how I would feel if I was in a happy relationship with someone new and the answer isn't quite the same so now I'm unsure. I have a long memory, so there's no way I'll just gradually forget about her if I get into another serious relationship in the future.
Any theories people? Helpful advice would be welcome too.
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