My husband and I are in counseling to try and overcome our issues with finance. We were doing pretty well for awhile until this week.
A little background: We both work, he makes double what I do. We have two kids. About 7 years ago he was doing all the finances, checkbook, etc. (I know bad idea). I decided to get involved and shortly thereafter found out he had been gambling and losing a lot of our money. We went through a very difficult time, counseling etc. but have moved past this and have had a better time of it. But what we can't get past is our differences on spending and finances.
We pretty much don't spend a lot (me less than him), but decided to take a vacation this year..in a few months. We paid off half of it and still have half on a credit card (2k). My husband gets a salary but has commission checks quarterly. When he got the last commission check last month, we decided we would use it to pay off the rest of the vacation.
I am linked to mint.com which tracks our spending etc. A week ago I got a notice that we had overspent on clothes to the tune of $800+ this month. I brought it up to him, but he brushed it off. I was thinking that maybe mint had miscategorized some of the "clothing" items so I went into our account and checked. It was actually $900 that was spent on clothes. (I probably spent $100 of that) I thought that was excessive and was upset that he spent this without paying off the vacation first. I sent him a text just confirming that we had spent this much just as a "heads up".
This turned into a HUGE fight, including him telling me I shouldn't be addressing this while he's at work, and him showing me later that day just what he had bought for all the money (clothes for kids, himself and me). I told him that wasn't the point...the point is that we haven't paid the vacation off and he is spending the extra money on other stuff. He always has an answer for any spending I question...usually that "well all our bills are paid" and "I'm going to be getting more money in 3 months".
He also told me if you don't like how I'm handling it, you take over the finances, to which I told him that we both have to do it so we both know what is going on.
I'll admit that sometimes I have been on his case about spending lesser amounts, and I have learned to let that stuff go. Probably a kick back to the time we went through with the gambling stuff and credit card debt...I felt like I had to keep a close watch.
By the way, we have a retirement plan but are WAY behind for our age. We have a small emergency fund but nothing where it should be. I have argued this point before too, but he just doesn't feel the same way about it that I do.
Anyway we are now fighting again and I don't see any end to this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
A little background: We both work, he makes double what I do. We have two kids. About 7 years ago he was doing all the finances, checkbook, etc. (I know bad idea). I decided to get involved and shortly thereafter found out he had been gambling and losing a lot of our money. We went through a very difficult time, counseling etc. but have moved past this and have had a better time of it. But what we can't get past is our differences on spending and finances.
We pretty much don't spend a lot (me less than him), but decided to take a vacation this year..in a few months. We paid off half of it and still have half on a credit card (2k). My husband gets a salary but has commission checks quarterly. When he got the last commission check last month, we decided we would use it to pay off the rest of the vacation.
I am linked to mint.com which tracks our spending etc. A week ago I got a notice that we had overspent on clothes to the tune of $800+ this month. I brought it up to him, but he brushed it off. I was thinking that maybe mint had miscategorized some of the "clothing" items so I went into our account and checked. It was actually $900 that was spent on clothes. (I probably spent $100 of that) I thought that was excessive and was upset that he spent this without paying off the vacation first. I sent him a text just confirming that we had spent this much just as a "heads up".
This turned into a HUGE fight, including him telling me I shouldn't be addressing this while he's at work, and him showing me later that day just what he had bought for all the money (clothes for kids, himself and me). I told him that wasn't the point...the point is that we haven't paid the vacation off and he is spending the extra money on other stuff. He always has an answer for any spending I question...usually that "well all our bills are paid" and "I'm going to be getting more money in 3 months".
He also told me if you don't like how I'm handling it, you take over the finances, to which I told him that we both have to do it so we both know what is going on.
I'll admit that sometimes I have been on his case about spending lesser amounts, and I have learned to let that stuff go. Probably a kick back to the time we went through with the gambling stuff and credit card debt...I felt like I had to keep a close watch.
By the way, we have a retirement plan but are WAY behind for our age. We have a small emergency fund but nothing where it should be. I have argued this point before too, but he just doesn't feel the same way about it that I do.
Anyway we are now fighting again and I don't see any end to this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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