I had this on my thread and took it off...After thinking it over it belongs here...It is part of sex in marriage and marriage itself...It is part of this new happening in the world where there is a shortage of the male species and many more women in sexual hunger...It is a story of life...My life...Even though it happened years ago and I only found out about it about eight years ago, it still haunts me...Actually it always will...This does not only affect a man, but a woman as well...I do not put this on to speak of life, but hopefully to enlighten a woman who takes her husband for granted and forgets to remember what another woman is capable of...If this does not fit the critique of this topic on the forum I will delete it...
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If you would have asked me a month ago if I would be writing a post like this, I would have said not on your life... Not me... This is not part of who my husband and I are... But I had to... Maybe by doing this I will save a marriage.... At least I will make some women wise up... I wasn't.... They will be.... When I first discovered the subject that I write about in this post, I knew I had to do something about my new knowledge of my own life... But I drew a blank... What do I write?.. Could I write this?.. Should I write this?.. But the answer was within,.. I must write this... I cannot ignore part of my past... It is who I am... It is who we are.. So I write this... Took a while, but it is now on the computer paper in front of me... I have finally released it from my troubled mind... What I have just written has taken a lot of soul searching, but it is the story of two people in love and even after all these years still learning each other... Maybe it will help someone else in their journey through life... It has helped me understand my sister women more than I ever have in my life... What happened with us that day out to lunch, and the words spoken, happened because they were supposed to happen.... It is part of who I am and as much as it hurt and troubled me it is a part of my life that I did not know... It is a warning to all women that I was completely unaware of... Maybe these words will make some woman more conscious of life and the perils of the other woman.... This is my hope in writing this...
We had gone out to lunch... This was to one of our favorite places.... I love TGIF, but this place never rushes you and it is so comfortable... I wonder if other women find after so many years, that the person they are smiling at across the table is still such a sexual turn on... I still do after all these years.... But they have been good years.... We had finished our lunch and he was having another cup of coffee... I was finishing my soda... He reached over and took my left hand in his right and we talked as we held hands.... Just such an innocent movement of love that meant so much to me.... This is how he is.... Just by looking at me he can awaken the woman in me and I feel it inside my sexual parts.... He leaves me with a twinkle in my eye and so sexually alive.... I looked at him with such love in my eyes... How can I help but smile at him?.... He is this wonderful boy/man and after all these years, I still hunger for him... So many years gone by, and this sexual want i s stronger than ever...
As I sat across from him, I knew I looked nice.... Confidence in a woman and knowing she is in her element is all it takes.... Being so sexually happy does not hurt either..... Then we will add youth.... The years have been kind to me and ejaculating has added years to my life.... I looked at him as we held hands and said, honey, within a month I will be 71.. I can't believe it.... Where have all the year's gone?... He commented that I sure did not look it.... It was just such a romantic time between the two of us.... He was so adorable this young sailor I married, and he seemed so young as we spoke.... I did not see gray hair, I saw my lover.... I saw my youth in front of me staring across at me and he made me young again as we glowed at each other.... I looked at this handsome man and asked him a question.... It may have been a question that I have asked before but I asked it again..... Why, I don't know.... This I will talk about later... I asked him "Honey, in all the yea rs we have been married, have you ever had another woman?"... He smiled and took a bit of time answering me and looked into my eyes and said "No".... But then he added the words I was not prepared to hear.... He said "but believe me, I have had more than my share of chances".... This shocked me.... Why, I don't know..... He is a great looking guy with a personality that anyone would die for, but the way he said it sent chills up my spine.... I found myself shocked at what was coming out of his mouth.... We had never been this place in our life before.... Why was I going here?... It was scary and I knew the time was right as he was in a mood of looking back in time and wanted to talk..... I looked at him and said, "OK honey, I love you more than my own life..... Now tell me about them..... Do not hesitate.... I will not be mad, but I would like to know what I have never known and all that has happened".... And he did....
He looked at me and started to talk..... I again told him that I would not be mad to tell me everything. Now I think back and wonder why in the hell I said that.... Why would I open myself up to so much hurt if he decided to tell me what I did not want to know..... Why was my trust so much at this particular time?... Just because I knew I looked good and he looked adorable, was no reason for this show of "I love you so much you could have done anything" bit.... I was not Joan of Arc..... I did not want to be burned at the stake..... Yet I was supplying the wood and giving him the match to light the fire.... Why would I expose myself to the possibility of being told of an affair?... But I had opened my mouth and told him to tell me everything..... I already knew that throughout our life how women has come on to him.... Why was I doing this?.... He started to talk and I became very uneasy..... The die had been cast....
I found myself nervous talking with him about this.. I was now on unfamiliar ground... Once I wondered why I was asking this... Was it over confidence with this time of my life?... Did I want to know what kind of a sexual partner I was?... I just cannot answer that question truthfully, but it must be on my mind or else I would not have said it at this moment..... Then he told me of two women.... One I can faintly remember... I had heard him mention her name in conversations in the past.... I recall that I was alarmed a few times as her name came up more than I wanted to hear it.... At the time I let him know this.... I recall it was enough to make me jealous.....
At different times with his job with the company, he had to take some extra classes in advanced study in his field.... These would usually be evening classes.... He would go at a certain time and come back at a certain time.... I had no reason to distrust him.... Maybe I was not cautious enough for that time in his life... I should have been more aware of the fact of what a sexy man and good looking man that he was...Believe me he had the kind of looks and personality that a woman wants...But I wasn't... I was blind.... He told me of a conversation with a nurse..... She was in his class for the 8 week or 12 week course he had taken.... He said she would hit on him just about every day to go out for a drink after the class.... Of course I asked him if she was good looking.... He smiled and said yes she was, but," honey I did not go".... With his explanation of this little adventure I had my fill of his past, and was relieved and looked at him and smiled.... Then he began anoth er time that had taken place.... Part of me was saying let this go.... Don't push this... Nerves were stirring, but I shut my mouth as I would be more troubled not knowing..... It was my big mouth that had started this..... I was to blame for this conversation.... So wisely I shut my mouth.....
I can also recall hearing the name of the next woman he told me about.... I will call her "Sally".... This is not her name but OK for this post.... This was about 15 years ago..... I had heard her name mentioned both when talking to my husband at work, and in conversations at home.... As I recall he said something once that irked me.... She was with another company in another State, but the two companies worked very closely together.... He had told me that she and another man who I knew, were traveling to her company for a meeting.... They were gone for the day, but coming home that same night. They went and had lunch with Sally and her friend.... They were both from the same company, but I did not ask if her friend was a male or female..... It really made no difference.... He came back home and I don't recall ever talking about it again.... But I do recall his talking to me about her and that she was a college graduate and had a big job with the company.... I asked him if sh e was nice looking and he smiled and said yes.... Of course, this really made my day.....
He told me that they talked frequently on the telephone.... As far as I know this was work related and done from his office..... She knew his hours and when he was in his office...... He said one day at work she called him..... She was in town and was at a hotel five blocks away and wanted him to come over and be with her..... She had come to him and wanted him sexually..... She pleaded with him to meet her..... There was more to the conversation, but he spared me this.... I knew how sexually hungry she must have been for him as he is the kind of a man that stirs you to the core..... This minute as I write this, it tears me apart..... She wanted him and was willing to come this far to have her sexual appetite appeased..... He told her no that he just could not that he was happily married.... What else was in the conversation, I will never know..... He said that was the end of that..... He said that very shortly afterwards she transferred out of the company to another branch.. ... He did not talk to her again....
I had never known of these two stories of my husband.... I have never been as shocked in my life...Yet, I do believe him that he did not have an affair..... I think I would know if he had slept with another woman....Or would I?... I will never get over the effect that this had on me..... I was blind to my man's temptations..... I could have lost him.... This happens all the time and now to find at this age that I, too, have this in my past truly blows my mind..... Then my questions started within..... Did I know that he didn't do it?.... Yes, I swear this on his life..... But he did enjoy the thought and telling me about it... This I could see in his eyes as he spoke of this.... To think that another woman wanted my husband sexually and wanted him to do what he does to me tore me apart.... It is so hard for me to accept yet over the years I have seen it in the eyes of other women as they looked at him.... It's the fact of after all these years and just finding this out that s o many things go through my mind..... It stays.... I can't kick it out... Maybe I'm not supposed to...Maybe it is a new awakening in my mind.....
Now my other question.... The big question... What if he had an affair with a woman and he told me or I found out... Could I stay?... Could or would I let him go?... I have thought this over so carefully and yes I would stay.... If he truly was sorry and this was once in a lifetime mistake, I think I could handle it.... But what would this do to me as a woman?.... Would it send me out to have the first affair of my life?... Without a doubt the first thing I would have done is lose weight, but then I think I would have shown him that I, too, can do it.... I don't know..... It could have turned me loose to be that woman that I fear inside me.... That woman that could be as hot and as wild as the wind..... I just don't know....
This morning I woke up moaning.... My lover was between my legs pleasuring me... I again went to that place in my mind of what if I didn't have him loving me like this..... Even if I had found out that he had an affair, how could I give him up?.... This was the man I loved and what if I had lost him?... This was my thinking as I made love to him.... The orgasm's came over and over and I was a wild woman of sexual need..... I found myself in a new place in time...I was both in my mind and in the mind of the woman that wanted him...I was fighting off that woman that wanted him and found a place within me that I had never been there before....Believe me, it was good....
That day at the restaurant changed my life... The pedestal lowered.... I truly realized how lucky in life I have been.... I can never forget this.... I am not supposed to.... It has given me a deeper perspective of life.... I now think of other women who have been torn apart by affairs....This is something that I never thought of before....But, I think of it now.............Even at this late age in life, I keep on learning..... It never stops........I changed that day when he told me this. I will never forget it. It is good that I won't... It was to be my newest lesson in life. I will remember it well....
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If you would have asked me a month ago if I would be writing a post like this, I would have said not on your life... Not me... This is not part of who my husband and I are... But I had to... Maybe by doing this I will save a marriage.... At least I will make some women wise up... I wasn't.... They will be.... When I first discovered the subject that I write about in this post, I knew I had to do something about my new knowledge of my own life... But I drew a blank... What do I write?.. Could I write this?.. Should I write this?.. But the answer was within,.. I must write this... I cannot ignore part of my past... It is who I am... It is who we are.. So I write this... Took a while, but it is now on the computer paper in front of me... I have finally released it from my troubled mind... What I have just written has taken a lot of soul searching, but it is the story of two people in love and even after all these years still learning each other... Maybe it will help someone else in their journey through life... It has helped me understand my sister women more than I ever have in my life... What happened with us that day out to lunch, and the words spoken, happened because they were supposed to happen.... It is part of who I am and as much as it hurt and troubled me it is a part of my life that I did not know... It is a warning to all women that I was completely unaware of... Maybe these words will make some woman more conscious of life and the perils of the other woman.... This is my hope in writing this...
We had gone out to lunch... This was to one of our favorite places.... I love TGIF, but this place never rushes you and it is so comfortable... I wonder if other women find after so many years, that the person they are smiling at across the table is still such a sexual turn on... I still do after all these years.... But they have been good years.... We had finished our lunch and he was having another cup of coffee... I was finishing my soda... He reached over and took my left hand in his right and we talked as we held hands.... Just such an innocent movement of love that meant so much to me.... This is how he is.... Just by looking at me he can awaken the woman in me and I feel it inside my sexual parts.... He leaves me with a twinkle in my eye and so sexually alive.... I looked at him with such love in my eyes... How can I help but smile at him?.... He is this wonderful boy/man and after all these years, I still hunger for him... So many years gone by, and this sexual want i s stronger than ever...
As I sat across from him, I knew I looked nice.... Confidence in a woman and knowing she is in her element is all it takes.... Being so sexually happy does not hurt either..... Then we will add youth.... The years have been kind to me and ejaculating has added years to my life.... I looked at him as we held hands and said, honey, within a month I will be 71.. I can't believe it.... Where have all the year's gone?... He commented that I sure did not look it.... It was just such a romantic time between the two of us.... He was so adorable this young sailor I married, and he seemed so young as we spoke.... I did not see gray hair, I saw my lover.... I saw my youth in front of me staring across at me and he made me young again as we glowed at each other.... I looked at this handsome man and asked him a question.... It may have been a question that I have asked before but I asked it again..... Why, I don't know.... This I will talk about later... I asked him "Honey, in all the yea rs we have been married, have you ever had another woman?"... He smiled and took a bit of time answering me and looked into my eyes and said "No".... But then he added the words I was not prepared to hear.... He said "but believe me, I have had more than my share of chances".... This shocked me.... Why, I don't know..... He is a great looking guy with a personality that anyone would die for, but the way he said it sent chills up my spine.... I found myself shocked at what was coming out of his mouth.... We had never been this place in our life before.... Why was I going here?... It was scary and I knew the time was right as he was in a mood of looking back in time and wanted to talk..... I looked at him and said, "OK honey, I love you more than my own life..... Now tell me about them..... Do not hesitate.... I will not be mad, but I would like to know what I have never known and all that has happened".... And he did....
He looked at me and started to talk..... I again told him that I would not be mad to tell me everything. Now I think back and wonder why in the hell I said that.... Why would I open myself up to so much hurt if he decided to tell me what I did not want to know..... Why was my trust so much at this particular time?... Just because I knew I looked good and he looked adorable, was no reason for this show of "I love you so much you could have done anything" bit.... I was not Joan of Arc..... I did not want to be burned at the stake..... Yet I was supplying the wood and giving him the match to light the fire.... Why would I expose myself to the possibility of being told of an affair?... But I had opened my mouth and told him to tell me everything..... I already knew that throughout our life how women has come on to him.... Why was I doing this?.... He started to talk and I became very uneasy..... The die had been cast....
I found myself nervous talking with him about this.. I was now on unfamiliar ground... Once I wondered why I was asking this... Was it over confidence with this time of my life?... Did I want to know what kind of a sexual partner I was?... I just cannot answer that question truthfully, but it must be on my mind or else I would not have said it at this moment..... Then he told me of two women.... One I can faintly remember... I had heard him mention her name in conversations in the past.... I recall that I was alarmed a few times as her name came up more than I wanted to hear it.... At the time I let him know this.... I recall it was enough to make me jealous.....
At different times with his job with the company, he had to take some extra classes in advanced study in his field.... These would usually be evening classes.... He would go at a certain time and come back at a certain time.... I had no reason to distrust him.... Maybe I was not cautious enough for that time in his life... I should have been more aware of the fact of what a sexy man and good looking man that he was...Believe me he had the kind of looks and personality that a woman wants...But I wasn't... I was blind.... He told me of a conversation with a nurse..... She was in his class for the 8 week or 12 week course he had taken.... He said she would hit on him just about every day to go out for a drink after the class.... Of course I asked him if she was good looking.... He smiled and said yes she was, but," honey I did not go".... With his explanation of this little adventure I had my fill of his past, and was relieved and looked at him and smiled.... Then he began anoth er time that had taken place.... Part of me was saying let this go.... Don't push this... Nerves were stirring, but I shut my mouth as I would be more troubled not knowing..... It was my big mouth that had started this..... I was to blame for this conversation.... So wisely I shut my mouth.....
I can also recall hearing the name of the next woman he told me about.... I will call her "Sally".... This is not her name but OK for this post.... This was about 15 years ago..... I had heard her name mentioned both when talking to my husband at work, and in conversations at home.... As I recall he said something once that irked me.... She was with another company in another State, but the two companies worked very closely together.... He had told me that she and another man who I knew, were traveling to her company for a meeting.... They were gone for the day, but coming home that same night. They went and had lunch with Sally and her friend.... They were both from the same company, but I did not ask if her friend was a male or female..... It really made no difference.... He came back home and I don't recall ever talking about it again.... But I do recall his talking to me about her and that she was a college graduate and had a big job with the company.... I asked him if sh e was nice looking and he smiled and said yes.... Of course, this really made my day.....
He told me that they talked frequently on the telephone.... As far as I know this was work related and done from his office..... She knew his hours and when he was in his office...... He said one day at work she called him..... She was in town and was at a hotel five blocks away and wanted him to come over and be with her..... She had come to him and wanted him sexually..... She pleaded with him to meet her..... There was more to the conversation, but he spared me this.... I knew how sexually hungry she must have been for him as he is the kind of a man that stirs you to the core..... This minute as I write this, it tears me apart..... She wanted him and was willing to come this far to have her sexual appetite appeased..... He told her no that he just could not that he was happily married.... What else was in the conversation, I will never know..... He said that was the end of that..... He said that very shortly afterwards she transferred out of the company to another branch.. ... He did not talk to her again....
I had never known of these two stories of my husband.... I have never been as shocked in my life...Yet, I do believe him that he did not have an affair..... I think I would know if he had slept with another woman....Or would I?... I will never get over the effect that this had on me..... I was blind to my man's temptations..... I could have lost him.... This happens all the time and now to find at this age that I, too, have this in my past truly blows my mind..... Then my questions started within..... Did I know that he didn't do it?.... Yes, I swear this on his life..... But he did enjoy the thought and telling me about it... This I could see in his eyes as he spoke of this.... To think that another woman wanted my husband sexually and wanted him to do what he does to me tore me apart.... It is so hard for me to accept yet over the years I have seen it in the eyes of other women as they looked at him.... It's the fact of after all these years and just finding this out that s o many things go through my mind..... It stays.... I can't kick it out... Maybe I'm not supposed to...Maybe it is a new awakening in my mind.....
Now my other question.... The big question... What if he had an affair with a woman and he told me or I found out... Could I stay?... Could or would I let him go?... I have thought this over so carefully and yes I would stay.... If he truly was sorry and this was once in a lifetime mistake, I think I could handle it.... But what would this do to me as a woman?.... Would it send me out to have the first affair of my life?... Without a doubt the first thing I would have done is lose weight, but then I think I would have shown him that I, too, can do it.... I don't know..... It could have turned me loose to be that woman that I fear inside me.... That woman that could be as hot and as wild as the wind..... I just don't know....
This morning I woke up moaning.... My lover was between my legs pleasuring me... I again went to that place in my mind of what if I didn't have him loving me like this..... Even if I had found out that he had an affair, how could I give him up?.... This was the man I loved and what if I had lost him?... This was my thinking as I made love to him.... The orgasm's came over and over and I was a wild woman of sexual need..... I found myself in a new place in time...I was both in my mind and in the mind of the woman that wanted him...I was fighting off that woman that wanted him and found a place within me that I had never been there before....Believe me, it was good....
That day at the restaurant changed my life... The pedestal lowered.... I truly realized how lucky in life I have been.... I can never forget this.... I am not supposed to.... It has given me a deeper perspective of life.... I now think of other women who have been torn apart by affairs....This is something that I never thought of before....But, I think of it now.............Even at this late age in life, I keep on learning..... It never stops........I changed that day when he told me this. I will never forget it. It is good that I won't... It was to be my newest lesson in life. I will remember it well....
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