What I did to deal with infidelity and save the marriage:
-quite a bunch of bad habits
-got healthy
-read a bunch of books on relationships
-worked on my listening skills
-Did a 180
-Joined and posted on some forums about marriage
-Cracked her phone password
-Cracked her personal PC password
-went through her garbage weekly, found a bunch of stuff
-Monitored and captured all of her network traffic for analysis and packet reassembly (the NSA would be impressed)
-Scraped a dozen or so clear text passwords from the network, several secret emails and three memberships to singles boards.
-When she started deleting Skype messages with each session I wrote a script and planted it on her computer that detected message activity and created copies of the message database.
-Confronted the OM to get them to stop.
-Planted GPS tracking on our car
-Carefully used what I learned from all the above to engage her in a positive manner in boundary setting and conversations.
What she did in response to being caught to save the marriage:
- Joined singles boards
- Continued to carry on with a LD BF I did not know about ( she has two--at least)
- Grew even colder and more distant
- Attempted to shut down and hide her social media communication as much as possible.
- Refused intimacy
- Visited a marriage advice site once but got board after five minutes.
- Refuses to go to IC or MC.
I guess the point of this post is that, that it never made a difference for all my effort. We are toast and ironically if I laid down a divorce filing early on maybe that might have saved it, and if not, would have got me on my way a lot sooner to a better life.
-quite a bunch of bad habits
-got healthy
-read a bunch of books on relationships
-worked on my listening skills
-Did a 180
-Joined and posted on some forums about marriage
-Cracked her phone password
-Cracked her personal PC password
-went through her garbage weekly, found a bunch of stuff
-Monitored and captured all of her network traffic for analysis and packet reassembly (the NSA would be impressed)
-Scraped a dozen or so clear text passwords from the network, several secret emails and three memberships to singles boards.
-When she started deleting Skype messages with each session I wrote a script and planted it on her computer that detected message activity and created copies of the message database.
-Confronted the OM to get them to stop.
-Planted GPS tracking on our car
-Carefully used what I learned from all the above to engage her in a positive manner in boundary setting and conversations.
What she did in response to being caught to save the marriage:
- Joined singles boards
- Continued to carry on with a LD BF I did not know about ( she has two--at least)
- Grew even colder and more distant
- Attempted to shut down and hide her social media communication as much as possible.
- Refused intimacy
- Visited a marriage advice site once but got board after five minutes.
- Refuses to go to IC or MC.
I guess the point of this post is that, that it never made a difference for all my effort. We are toast and ironically if I laid down a divorce filing early on maybe that might have saved it, and if not, would have got me on my way a lot sooner to a better life.
Put the internet to work for you.

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