Greetings everyone,
I'll try to keep this brief, but I'm hoping someone can give me some positive or hopeful advice.
Long story short, my wife and I have been together for about 7 years, 2 1/2 of them we've been married. A while back, she had an affair, but we reconciled, and moved on. Fast forward to now... She moved out of our home 3 months ago because she was "miserable". During the past 3 months, she's been trying to reconcile, but I've kept her at arm's length because I wanted to make sure that this would never happen again. SHE asked for me to agree to two things: That either of us not see other people, and that we go to counseling. We went to two counseling sessions, and I never did see anyone else (as far as I know, she didn't either). We recently had an argument, and we didn't speak for about 2 weeks. After the 2 weeks of not speaking, I realized that I DID in fact want to reconcile and I was committed to doing whatever it took to put the marriage back together and work things out once and for all... the same things she was saying just 2 weeks prior. So I call her, and she wanted nothing to do with me. When I asked, she told me there was now someone else, but she wouldn't tell me who it is. I'm fearful it's the same guy from her affair. Anyway, in just 2 weeks, she went from loving me and wanting to put our marriage back together, to wanting nothing to do with me, enamored with someone else, and wanting to move forward with the divorce. Basically, that leaves me devastated and desperately wanting her back. I've read all the advice about taking care of myself and exercising and having fun and all that. I get it. But is there anything I can do proactively to get her to pay attention to me and realize that I'M her HUSBAND, and I love her deeply? I haven't talked to her since this conversation, which was about a week ago. I'm trying to appear mysterious and that I'm doing just fine, but it doesn't seem to be working and I'm not sure she buys it. There has to be a way for me to somehow talk to her about reconciling, without coming across as begging and needy and all that. Please help. I know I was vague, so I can fill in the blanks if I need to. Thanks for reading, responding, and prayers are welcome.
I'll try to keep this brief, but I'm hoping someone can give me some positive or hopeful advice.
Long story short, my wife and I have been together for about 7 years, 2 1/2 of them we've been married. A while back, she had an affair, but we reconciled, and moved on. Fast forward to now... She moved out of our home 3 months ago because she was "miserable". During the past 3 months, she's been trying to reconcile, but I've kept her at arm's length because I wanted to make sure that this would never happen again. SHE asked for me to agree to two things: That either of us not see other people, and that we go to counseling. We went to two counseling sessions, and I never did see anyone else (as far as I know, she didn't either). We recently had an argument, and we didn't speak for about 2 weeks. After the 2 weeks of not speaking, I realized that I DID in fact want to reconcile and I was committed to doing whatever it took to put the marriage back together and work things out once and for all... the same things she was saying just 2 weeks prior. So I call her, and she wanted nothing to do with me. When I asked, she told me there was now someone else, but she wouldn't tell me who it is. I'm fearful it's the same guy from her affair. Anyway, in just 2 weeks, she went from loving me and wanting to put our marriage back together, to wanting nothing to do with me, enamored with someone else, and wanting to move forward with the divorce. Basically, that leaves me devastated and desperately wanting her back. I've read all the advice about taking care of myself and exercising and having fun and all that. I get it. But is there anything I can do proactively to get her to pay attention to me and realize that I'M her HUSBAND, and I love her deeply? I haven't talked to her since this conversation, which was about a week ago. I'm trying to appear mysterious and that I'm doing just fine, but it doesn't seem to be working and I'm not sure she buys it. There has to be a way for me to somehow talk to her about reconciling, without coming across as begging and needy and all that. Please help. I know I was vague, so I can fill in the blanks if I need to. Thanks for reading, responding, and prayers are welcome.
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