I ask this because, though, I've been married 13 years, my husband talks to me about the tritest crap, but there is no connection emotionally between us. when i try to share feelings he says "arg! you talk too much!" when I ask him about how he feels about something (that I know MUST bother him) he responds, "this is none of your business, Just keep to your simple blonde things"
We have a wonderful 12 year old son that we both adore. I try to be very honest with him about how relationships should work (not like ours) so he has a better concept of what to expect. When I try to talk to my husband about something he always throws the "Oh, you think you are so perfect! or Look how you look down on everythign I say or do" Let me tell you, I feel none of those things he says apply to me. I would never have those things cross my mind. I just want a simple resolution and understanding. Or the "You can never be wrong, you always have to have your way" Trust me, again, I NEVER have to have things my way, i just want people to get along and come to a solution.
My question is, how do I deal with this type of behavior? After an argument, I generally give up, then move on. Being pleasant and fulfilling my role as a mother (not so much wife, since husband feels such disdain for me) and do whatever it takes to make the household happy and pleasant. My husband then thinks "ah ha!she's being nice, which means I may be able to get some sexualy activity out of her, including some porn sex!" Which, of course, I have no interest in, especially since he let me know I disgust him and Im just a ****ing idiot who talks too much. But, he did ask me to be nice, which i find pretty easy to do. Don't talk too much, go on my happy way during the day running errand and taking care of the house and keeping my distance from the person I seem to be making miserable. Well, eventually, he warms up to me and thinks we should have sex. I'm pretty much "No thank you". I'm just here to make things pleasant for our child and give him a safe, healthy upbringi ng by keeping communication open.
so, once again... any suggestions? how do you deal with some one who is so compative and places blame on everything you do, even when you are desperately trying to figure out how to asuage situations? of course, he never admits anything he does causes wrong or misinterpretation. I'm blue in the face from apologizing. he says he's the way he is and shouldn't have to change. (he talks about nothing but superficial crap: youtube, stupid instagram pics, porn, etc and think feelings are a waste of time. And for your information, since I have so little conversation in my home, I often wear ear buds and listen to NPR or fun books to keep my mind stimulated, which then often gets me in trouble because once ever couple of hours my husband might come into a room and ask me a question, then nag me for wear headphones because i can't talk to him, though he's actually not talking. make sense? feel what I'm dealing with?
We have a wonderful 12 year old son that we both adore. I try to be very honest with him about how relationships should work (not like ours) so he has a better concept of what to expect. When I try to talk to my husband about something he always throws the "Oh, you think you are so perfect! or Look how you look down on everythign I say or do" Let me tell you, I feel none of those things he says apply to me. I would never have those things cross my mind. I just want a simple resolution and understanding. Or the "You can never be wrong, you always have to have your way" Trust me, again, I NEVER have to have things my way, i just want people to get along and come to a solution.
My question is, how do I deal with this type of behavior? After an argument, I generally give up, then move on. Being pleasant and fulfilling my role as a mother (not so much wife, since husband feels such disdain for me) and do whatever it takes to make the household happy and pleasant. My husband then thinks "ah ha!she's being nice, which means I may be able to get some sexualy activity out of her, including some porn sex!" Which, of course, I have no interest in, especially since he let me know I disgust him and Im just a ****ing idiot who talks too much. But, he did ask me to be nice, which i find pretty easy to do. Don't talk too much, go on my happy way during the day running errand and taking care of the house and keeping my distance from the person I seem to be making miserable. Well, eventually, he warms up to me and thinks we should have sex. I'm pretty much "No thank you". I'm just here to make things pleasant for our child and give him a safe, healthy upbringi ng by keeping communication open.
so, once again... any suggestions? how do you deal with some one who is so compative and places blame on everything you do, even when you are desperately trying to figure out how to asuage situations? of course, he never admits anything he does causes wrong or misinterpretation. I'm blue in the face from apologizing. he says he's the way he is and shouldn't have to change. (he talks about nothing but superficial crap: youtube, stupid instagram pics, porn, etc and think feelings are a waste of time. And for your information, since I have so little conversation in my home, I often wear ear buds and listen to NPR or fun books to keep my mind stimulated, which then often gets me in trouble because once ever couple of hours my husband might come into a room and ask me a question, then nag me for wear headphones because i can't talk to him, though he's actually not talking. make sense? feel what I'm dealing with?
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