Hey everyone,
Me (24) and my wife (26) were married on July 13 of last year after about 5 years of dating. We were originally living in the upstate of South Carolina but moved to the coast 3 weeks prior to the wedding because that's where we ultimately decided we wanted to settle with our lives.
After the wedding, we were living on savings while we started to look for jobs. I'm an aircraft mechanic and she just came off a job as an assistant manager. It took a couple months but we eventually found positions and were immediately becoming financially stable. Everything seemed to be falling right into place for us.
Last week, my wife told me she wasn't happy. Now a little back story here. When we were dating, I was going to school for my mechanic license, I was under a large amount of stress. There were times when I just felt down and didn't want to talk about it while she tried what she could to be my support. I loved that she was there for me, but it was just one of those things I wanted to deal with on my own. We broke up for 8 months or so because she didn't like my attitude during that time. After I got my license, I started working and we got back together.
During my time of unemployment after the wedding, I had the same feelings of stress. I'm a person that is extremely hard on myself and every day felt like I was a failure for not finding a job yet. She again tried to keep my spirits up but some days I just couldn't find the drive. When I finally got my job, I was put on an evening shift (she's a morning shift at her job) and started working a good bit. Days we have off together were great and we spent them doing things.
After she told she was unhappy she started staying at her friend's house. When we finally talked about it she hit with me with a lot of issues she was having. Like: My attitude (I really think this is a misunderstanding of how I vent my frustrations) she feels I take it out on her, not feeling appreciated with keeping the apartment straightened up (we both do chores around the apartment), me sleeping in on the days we have off shows I don't really want to spend time with her (I have 4 days off a month, I like to sleep in those days), and a whole bunch of just little things that are so insignificant I can't imagine getting a divorce over. Closing closet doors all the way, putting dishes on the left side of the sink, and putting things in the dishwasher correctly.
I can understand little things like this becoming an annoyance over time but if I knew it was actually causing her to become this unhappy it would have changed immediately. I'm not in any way abusive or demeaning towards her. In my mind, this not something you throw a marriage away for. I'm wondering if she's just under a ton of stress. She isn't liking the way things are going at work and she told me she almost quit the other day. It just seems like the issues she has with me is heightened to this level because of other factors going on.
Any advice? We haven't really talked much since she hit me with everything on Thursday and she isn't staying with me right now. I'm trying to give her the space I think she needs but it's hard.
Me (24) and my wife (26) were married on July 13 of last year after about 5 years of dating. We were originally living in the upstate of South Carolina but moved to the coast 3 weeks prior to the wedding because that's where we ultimately decided we wanted to settle with our lives.
After the wedding, we were living on savings while we started to look for jobs. I'm an aircraft mechanic and she just came off a job as an assistant manager. It took a couple months but we eventually found positions and were immediately becoming financially stable. Everything seemed to be falling right into place for us.
Last week, my wife told me she wasn't happy. Now a little back story here. When we were dating, I was going to school for my mechanic license, I was under a large amount of stress. There were times when I just felt down and didn't want to talk about it while she tried what she could to be my support. I loved that she was there for me, but it was just one of those things I wanted to deal with on my own. We broke up for 8 months or so because she didn't like my attitude during that time. After I got my license, I started working and we got back together.
During my time of unemployment after the wedding, I had the same feelings of stress. I'm a person that is extremely hard on myself and every day felt like I was a failure for not finding a job yet. She again tried to keep my spirits up but some days I just couldn't find the drive. When I finally got my job, I was put on an evening shift (she's a morning shift at her job) and started working a good bit. Days we have off together were great and we spent them doing things.
After she told she was unhappy she started staying at her friend's house. When we finally talked about it she hit with me with a lot of issues she was having. Like: My attitude (I really think this is a misunderstanding of how I vent my frustrations) she feels I take it out on her, not feeling appreciated with keeping the apartment straightened up (we both do chores around the apartment), me sleeping in on the days we have off shows I don't really want to spend time with her (I have 4 days off a month, I like to sleep in those days), and a whole bunch of just little things that are so insignificant I can't imagine getting a divorce over. Closing closet doors all the way, putting dishes on the left side of the sink, and putting things in the dishwasher correctly.
I can understand little things like this becoming an annoyance over time but if I knew it was actually causing her to become this unhappy it would have changed immediately. I'm not in any way abusive or demeaning towards her. In my mind, this not something you throw a marriage away for. I'm wondering if she's just under a ton of stress. She isn't liking the way things are going at work and she told me she almost quit the other day. It just seems like the issues she has with me is heightened to this level because of other factors going on.
Any advice? We haven't really talked much since she hit me with everything on Thursday and she isn't staying with me right now. I'm trying to give her the space I think she needs but it's hard.
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