Hi everyone, I'm a first time poster. I'm feeling lost and confused and need to share my story.
My wife and I were high school sweet hearts and have now been together for over 21 years and married for 12. We currently have 2 young children, 8 and 5, and wife is suggesting we have a 3rd. In my mind we've been happily married and she's never let me believe otherwise.
My wife used to work from home 2 years ago but is now working out of the home as a receptionist. She works part-time and has the house to herself 1 day a week. I've always trusted her but something in my gut changed about 1 1/2 years ago. I became paranoid that something was wrong and I couldn't figure out what it was. Due to the paranoia I started to search around the house for answers and never found a thing. To the outside world we still seemed like that perfect, happy couple and I really had no concrete reason to doubt that was true.
3 months ago while search I looked behind the dresser and found a small piece of paper with the name "Dustin" and a number. This led to more searching and shortly after I found a ripped piece of paper (not sure if it was newspaper or print paper) with the term "1-on-1" on the left side and the start of a number of the right. The rest was missing. I also found an old M&M club card on the floor with tape residue on the back running vertically down the middle of the card with a space in the middle and what seemed to be a matching piece of tape on the dresser as well. This was all behind the dresser. I also found a small hole under the mattress with nothing in it so I tend to dismiss that. Behind some of the picture frames I also found evidence of what seemed to be tape marks. Meaning tape was once there and then removed. Could have been prices stickers I suppose so nothing too bad to worry about.
I confronted her with all that stuff and she swears up and down on our children, and everyone else she cares about that she has no idea where that stuff came from. She says the piece of paper with "1-on-1" stated on it could have been packing paper that arrived with the dresser and that the "Dustin" number could have been mine at some point or simply have fallen out of a library book. Of course my paranoia kicked in and I instantly started to believe my wife was involved in discreet relationships and the the M&M card could have contained something such as a sim card.
Again she swears up and down she loves me to death and would never hurt me in that way and that she's willing to have another child with me. When she looks into my eyes I want to so desperately believe her. I can't accept the alternative. I do love her to death.
I could have possibly moved on from that but I took it one step further. I bugged the house without her knowledge one Wed. I heard her come into the house from a walk to the grocery store, she then put her cell on the iPhone dock to listen to music, picked up the phone and seemed to be checking call display. I heard the beeping. She all of the sudden then said "Hi" in a way I'm not entirely used to hearing while the music was playing. I heard bits and pieces such as "I just got home from a walk from Metro", "Tracker", "****ing Messages", and "No, no next wednesday". She then hung up and sighed. She at some point before this became aware I was tracking her iPhone and I was messaging her quite a bit that day.
I confronted her with this information and she claims it was me she was talking to. It was all very convincing since I was feeling lost that day and did try to talk to her quite a few times. However when I looked for a record of that call on our statements it was nowhere to be found. I'm having a hard time believing it was me and it all just reinforces my belief she has another phone.
As it stands right now we've been through a rough ride over the last 3 months. I keep on pushing her to admit something is up and she refuses to cave. She swears on the children nothing is happening and she never even thought of cheating at any point. I'm currently in therapy for anxiety and paranoia issues and am having a hard time focusing at work.
I don't have any concrete evidence she's cheating but am highly suspect and that's enough to wear on our relationship. She put up with allot and is standing by my side. I do believe she loves me but at this point I'm starting to wonder if she's here for another reason. I'm just completely confused, scared, depressed, and feel as though my world has been flipped upside down. I never thought I'd be in this position.
I also found evidence on her iPhone history that was had been looking for remedies for a bacterial infection that she says was caused by the birth control she was taking at the time. She was embarrassed to tell me about because it smelled bad down there for a short period of time. This stuff happens but in the context of my mindset it didn't help that she withheld this from me. Perhaps I'm over thinking things. Like I said, I'm feel lost and confused.
If she is up to something then how could she possibly put me through this crap, including therapy, and still say she loves me to death, I'm her number 1, and that she wants to grow old with me. She even offered to take a lie detector test if I wanted. Whatever it would take to believe her basically.
I'm willing to push through this but I needed to vent and to hear other peoples thoughts. I feel completely alone. I have no siblings and no one to share this with. I'm getting teary eyed just writing this. I forgot to mention I have spoken to 2 people about this. Close friends and they refuse to believe my wife could have cheated.
Thanks for taking any time you have to listen and respond.
My wife and I were high school sweet hearts and have now been together for over 21 years and married for 12. We currently have 2 young children, 8 and 5, and wife is suggesting we have a 3rd. In my mind we've been happily married and she's never let me believe otherwise.
My wife used to work from home 2 years ago but is now working out of the home as a receptionist. She works part-time and has the house to herself 1 day a week. I've always trusted her but something in my gut changed about 1 1/2 years ago. I became paranoid that something was wrong and I couldn't figure out what it was. Due to the paranoia I started to search around the house for answers and never found a thing. To the outside world we still seemed like that perfect, happy couple and I really had no concrete reason to doubt that was true.
3 months ago while search I looked behind the dresser and found a small piece of paper with the name "Dustin" and a number. This led to more searching and shortly after I found a ripped piece of paper (not sure if it was newspaper or print paper) with the term "1-on-1" on the left side and the start of a number of the right. The rest was missing. I also found an old M&M club card on the floor with tape residue on the back running vertically down the middle of the card with a space in the middle and what seemed to be a matching piece of tape on the dresser as well. This was all behind the dresser. I also found a small hole under the mattress with nothing in it so I tend to dismiss that. Behind some of the picture frames I also found evidence of what seemed to be tape marks. Meaning tape was once there and then removed. Could have been prices stickers I suppose so nothing too bad to worry about.
I confronted her with all that stuff and she swears up and down on our children, and everyone else she cares about that she has no idea where that stuff came from. She says the piece of paper with "1-on-1" stated on it could have been packing paper that arrived with the dresser and that the "Dustin" number could have been mine at some point or simply have fallen out of a library book. Of course my paranoia kicked in and I instantly started to believe my wife was involved in discreet relationships and the the M&M card could have contained something such as a sim card.
Again she swears up and down she loves me to death and would never hurt me in that way and that she's willing to have another child with me. When she looks into my eyes I want to so desperately believe her. I can't accept the alternative. I do love her to death.
I could have possibly moved on from that but I took it one step further. I bugged the house without her knowledge one Wed. I heard her come into the house from a walk to the grocery store, she then put her cell on the iPhone dock to listen to music, picked up the phone and seemed to be checking call display. I heard the beeping. She all of the sudden then said "Hi" in a way I'm not entirely used to hearing while the music was playing. I heard bits and pieces such as "I just got home from a walk from Metro", "Tracker", "****ing Messages", and "No, no next wednesday". She then hung up and sighed. She at some point before this became aware I was tracking her iPhone and I was messaging her quite a bit that day.
I confronted her with this information and she claims it was me she was talking to. It was all very convincing since I was feeling lost that day and did try to talk to her quite a few times. However when I looked for a record of that call on our statements it was nowhere to be found. I'm having a hard time believing it was me and it all just reinforces my belief she has another phone.
As it stands right now we've been through a rough ride over the last 3 months. I keep on pushing her to admit something is up and she refuses to cave. She swears on the children nothing is happening and she never even thought of cheating at any point. I'm currently in therapy for anxiety and paranoia issues and am having a hard time focusing at work.
I don't have any concrete evidence she's cheating but am highly suspect and that's enough to wear on our relationship. She put up with allot and is standing by my side. I do believe she loves me but at this point I'm starting to wonder if she's here for another reason. I'm just completely confused, scared, depressed, and feel as though my world has been flipped upside down. I never thought I'd be in this position.
I also found evidence on her iPhone history that was had been looking for remedies for a bacterial infection that she says was caused by the birth control she was taking at the time. She was embarrassed to tell me about because it smelled bad down there for a short period of time. This stuff happens but in the context of my mindset it didn't help that she withheld this from me. Perhaps I'm over thinking things. Like I said, I'm feel lost and confused.
If she is up to something then how could she possibly put me through this crap, including therapy, and still say she loves me to death, I'm her number 1, and that she wants to grow old with me. She even offered to take a lie detector test if I wanted. Whatever it would take to believe her basically.
I'm willing to push through this but I needed to vent and to hear other peoples thoughts. I feel completely alone. I have no siblings and no one to share this with. I'm getting teary eyed just writing this. I forgot to mention I have spoken to 2 people about this. Close friends and they refuse to believe my wife could have cheated.
Thanks for taking any time you have to listen and respond.
Put the internet to work for you.
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