So I have always been able to kiss my boyfriend fine. I can do things like kiss his forehead, kiss his face, sit with our heads close together cuddling watching the tv etc.
This didn't just happen last night, but I will use last night as one example.
Lying in bed, close, hugging, kissing. It's sort of hard to explain in writing, but he does this thing where he obviously thinks he's being all romantic and sexy, and like runs his face over mine. Almost like he kisses me, then runs his face (nose touching my face) to different parts of my face. Sometimes kisses them (sometimes not) and comes back to kiss my lips again. His kisses are also pretty wet. Not in an overly disgusting or sloppy kind of way, he just opens his lips a little bit whereas mine are always wedged shut so my lips are always so wet. Even when I try and do the whole open-mouth kissing thing to fix the situation, he seems to just open his mouth even wider so we're back to square one. He also kisses me then drags his bottom lip up when he moves his face over mine.
I only mention this bit to emphasise the my face also ends up getting wet, which isn't nice. Anyway, last night I was very uncomfortable. What he was doing - presumably to try and be passionate and close to me- while I appreciate the intentions, just made me really uncomfortable. I tried to literally gently push him away or move his face back to my lips but he didn't get the message. Even when I tried to pull away, we were lying in such a close hug that I couldn't. At any point, I could have stopped the whole thing, I get that. But it's difficult. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I've already hurt him by joking about his sloppy wet kisses and trying to exaggeratedly and purposefully wipe my mouth after he has kissed me.
Essentially, I don't know why and I'm not even 100% this is the exact reason, I felt so uncomfortable with his face being so close to mine in that kind of way. I felt awkward, uncomfortable, just wanted him to stop. I like kissing for a bit, then pulling away at least a little distance, then kissing again. Normally, that is possible. e.g. I'll be sitting in top of him, and I will lean down, and if I get uncomfy I can sit up, we'll chat a bit, then start kissing again. Or we will be watching tv and kiss, then watch some tv, then kiss. But these situations where we are locked into a permanent grip, faces permanently glued to one another, him running his face/nose all over my face and not letting me get away for air, I temporarily thought I was unattracted to him I was so uncomfy. And I know I'm not, and don't want to be, so it's upsetting me.
I know it seems petty and very weird and a simple solution would be "tell him". Yeah, I'm not really asking on advice about that so much (although any advice on how to let him down gently would be much appreciated), I'm more asking if this happens to other people or anyone can give me insight to how I feel? It's weird, sometimes he is the sexiest thing living (excuse the cringiness), and sometimes I feel uncomfortable and just want it to stop and then unattracted to him.
I know this sounds really naive, but do you think this just happens when I'm not in the mood and not turned on? Because when we proceeded to have sex eventually, I did not self-lubricate at all.
This didn't just happen last night, but I will use last night as one example.
Lying in bed, close, hugging, kissing. It's sort of hard to explain in writing, but he does this thing where he obviously thinks he's being all romantic and sexy, and like runs his face over mine. Almost like he kisses me, then runs his face (nose touching my face) to different parts of my face. Sometimes kisses them (sometimes not) and comes back to kiss my lips again. His kisses are also pretty wet. Not in an overly disgusting or sloppy kind of way, he just opens his lips a little bit whereas mine are always wedged shut so my lips are always so wet. Even when I try and do the whole open-mouth kissing thing to fix the situation, he seems to just open his mouth even wider so we're back to square one. He also kisses me then drags his bottom lip up when he moves his face over mine.
I only mention this bit to emphasise the my face also ends up getting wet, which isn't nice. Anyway, last night I was very uncomfortable. What he was doing - presumably to try and be passionate and close to me- while I appreciate the intentions, just made me really uncomfortable. I tried to literally gently push him away or move his face back to my lips but he didn't get the message. Even when I tried to pull away, we were lying in such a close hug that I couldn't. At any point, I could have stopped the whole thing, I get that. But it's difficult. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I've already hurt him by joking about his sloppy wet kisses and trying to exaggeratedly and purposefully wipe my mouth after he has kissed me.
Essentially, I don't know why and I'm not even 100% this is the exact reason, I felt so uncomfortable with his face being so close to mine in that kind of way. I felt awkward, uncomfortable, just wanted him to stop. I like kissing for a bit, then pulling away at least a little distance, then kissing again. Normally, that is possible. e.g. I'll be sitting in top of him, and I will lean down, and if I get uncomfy I can sit up, we'll chat a bit, then start kissing again. Or we will be watching tv and kiss, then watch some tv, then kiss. But these situations where we are locked into a permanent grip, faces permanently glued to one another, him running his face/nose all over my face and not letting me get away for air, I temporarily thought I was unattracted to him I was so uncomfy. And I know I'm not, and don't want to be, so it's upsetting me.
I know it seems petty and very weird and a simple solution would be "tell him". Yeah, I'm not really asking on advice about that so much (although any advice on how to let him down gently would be much appreciated), I'm more asking if this happens to other people or anyone can give me insight to how I feel? It's weird, sometimes he is the sexiest thing living (excuse the cringiness), and sometimes I feel uncomfortable and just want it to stop and then unattracted to him.
I know this sounds really naive, but do you think this just happens when I'm not in the mood and not turned on? Because when we proceeded to have sex eventually, I did not self-lubricate at all.
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