I have been divorced for 2 ½ years. My XWW had been cheating on me for the last 2 years of our marriage. I joined one of the popular OLD sites 6 months after the D was final. I went on a few dates but I soon realized that I wasn't ready for dating and didn't renew my membership. I did not date for 2 years. Fast forward to 3 months ago, I joined OLD again.
I was taking a very passive role in the process. I took this approach because my confidence and self-esteem still suffered from XWW's cheating…It was just emotionally safer for me. I wrote a very honest, complete profile and included many current pictures. However, I did not send many messages to women I was interested in. I instead just waited to see if anyone was interested in me by sending me a message. To my surprise, I was receiving several messages per day as well as "Likes" and "winks. I did go out on quite a few first dates but I just didn't seem to be physically attracted to any of them. Some of them had misrepresented themselves on their profiles, which I commented on in another thread, but some were honest. My first dates would usually last for hours, talking, laughing, losing track of time, but in the end…I felt nothing but friendship…no attraction.
Maybe the problem is me?
From the first time we met, I was wildly attracted to my XWW. I never stopped feeling that way for her even after 16 years of marriage. I still lusted after her, until I discovered her cheating. It's not that she was some fitness goddess or a movie star but I was just super attracted to her. I guess she was my type, if that make any sense. Maybe the years and experiences we shared together and children kept my attraction to her strong...IDK. I'm starting to wonder if what I felt for her was a once in a life time thing, emotional and physical chemistry? Will it be possible to feel that kind of attraction to someone ever again? At my age, 51, I wonder if that kind of attraction is even possible or is it just something you experience when you are younger. Will I will have to settle for just companionship in the future?
Anyway, I still do seem to subconsciously compare every woman I meet to my XWW…in personality and physical appearance. I realize that this isn't fair but I can't seem to get passed it. So here are my questions...
Am I normal?
Do you think I'm ready for dating yet?
Have any of you moved on from the destruction of your marriages to find a deep emotional and physical connection with someone new?
Is age a factor?
Do some people settle for just companionship?
I was taking a very passive role in the process. I took this approach because my confidence and self-esteem still suffered from XWW's cheating…It was just emotionally safer for me. I wrote a very honest, complete profile and included many current pictures. However, I did not send many messages to women I was interested in. I instead just waited to see if anyone was interested in me by sending me a message. To my surprise, I was receiving several messages per day as well as "Likes" and "winks. I did go out on quite a few first dates but I just didn't seem to be physically attracted to any of them. Some of them had misrepresented themselves on their profiles, which I commented on in another thread, but some were honest. My first dates would usually last for hours, talking, laughing, losing track of time, but in the end…I felt nothing but friendship…no attraction.
Maybe the problem is me?
From the first time we met, I was wildly attracted to my XWW. I never stopped feeling that way for her even after 16 years of marriage. I still lusted after her, until I discovered her cheating. It's not that she was some fitness goddess or a movie star but I was just super attracted to her. I guess she was my type, if that make any sense. Maybe the years and experiences we shared together and children kept my attraction to her strong...IDK. I'm starting to wonder if what I felt for her was a once in a life time thing, emotional and physical chemistry? Will it be possible to feel that kind of attraction to someone ever again? At my age, 51, I wonder if that kind of attraction is even possible or is it just something you experience when you are younger. Will I will have to settle for just companionship in the future?
Anyway, I still do seem to subconsciously compare every woman I meet to my XWW…in personality and physical appearance. I realize that this isn't fair but I can't seem to get passed it. So here are my questions...
Am I normal?
Do you think I'm ready for dating yet?
Have any of you moved on from the destruction of your marriages to find a deep emotional and physical connection with someone new?
Is age a factor?
Do some people settle for just companionship?
Put the internet to work for you.
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