I was told about this forum and how helpful it is so thought i would post my story here. I have severe anxiety due to a disease and it has gotten pretty bad. About 6 months ago i met a guy and at first we were friends but there was a lot of attraction between us.
We hung out a few times and i started to have feelings for him. We started sleeping together, although i was really hoping it would turn into more (stupid really as that never usually happens). I kept falling harder and harder for him. I told him i loved him and he said he didn't feel the same but told me he cared about me and wanted to remain friends. We slept together a couple more times after this, and then he eventually told me he thinks we should stop because it is hurting me.
After this we would still talk but he was acting distant and weird. I have such severe anxiety that whenever he wouldn't reply for a while i would get paranoid he was going to stop talking to me and disappear. I told him before we slept together that i didn't want it to ruin our friendship, and we both said we wouldn't let it, so i would keep sending messages if he didn't reply, and i would get really angry sometimes saying i think he just used me and now had no interest in speaking, especially if he read the messages and didn't respond, or if he was visibly on other social media but had not got back to me. I did this for a week and was pretty bad.
He would always reply eventually saying he was just busy or was out and that i needed to chill out and calm down, but i still continued. Our sex had ended and we weren't hanging out anymore so i kept feeling like this was the reason we weren't seeing each other anymore. I tried many times to invite him somewhere or ask if he wanted to do things but he kept declining. He told me the way i was being was pushing him away and i needed to just relax and if i stopped going off if he didn't get back we could hang out and be normal friends. I was also insisting i still wanted to sleep together which may not have helped.
So the other day we were talking and i asked him if we were honestly ever going to hang out because i wasn't going to keep trying and reaching out to be friends with someone who didn't want to be. He told me that it would be a bit awkward to hang out with how i kept complaining at him and going off on him and that maybe if i stopped and calmed down we would eventually. So because i was upset i told him maybe my feelings were too strong and i should just stop talking to him, and he responded saying he understood and thinks maybe i am right as i seem in pain about all of this. How nonchalant he seemed about everything made me pretty upset because i felt he didn't even care. Our texting continued and he said he wanted to help me with my concerns of pregnancy as last time we slept together we had a little mishap and are hoping that i am not pregnant, but he had had enough of me going off and was turning his phone off.
So i responded saying i just felt like he didn't care and felt like he was just blowing me off and i have tried so hard to be a friend to him and maintain a friendship with him. I also said i was concerned about the pregnancy thing and i really wanted and needed his help with that as i don't currently have any income. I even called him twice to try and talk to him to which of course he never picked up. Then hours later he got back to me. He said that he wanted me to sign up for something to where he could wire me money to help out get tested for pregnancy and then this needed to stop. The amount he offered was a few hundred so i am not sure why he was offering me so much. He said he was a nice guy but i have pushed him away. I got too intense and clingy and i am making him miserable, but he said he cared about me and wanted to help out. He said i had 24 hours to get him the details and if he didn't have them by then he was just going to block me from everything, but he said i f i did he would wait to hear the results. He also said if i continued going off at him he would have no choice but to block me from everything and just leave me to it.
So yesterday i sent him a fb message saying that i hope he was feeling better and that i was sincerely sorry for everything and i never meant to push him away or make him stressed. I wanted to stay friends but i understood if he didn't want to and assumed he would be blocking me from everything as i do not want him to feel pushed into a corner or blackmailed and i was declining the money because it wasn't his responsibility to be sending that much and i would just find a way to test myself, and obviously if he wanted to support me i would welcome it. He read it, but he never replied to it nor did he block me, although he said if i declined he would block me from everything.
I really don't know what to do. I hate bad feeling with people and feel like my clingy intense behavior has pushed away someone i really cared about and wanted to maintain a friendship with. I want to fix it. I am not sure why he never blocked as he said he would.
We hung out a few times and i started to have feelings for him. We started sleeping together, although i was really hoping it would turn into more (stupid really as that never usually happens). I kept falling harder and harder for him. I told him i loved him and he said he didn't feel the same but told me he cared about me and wanted to remain friends. We slept together a couple more times after this, and then he eventually told me he thinks we should stop because it is hurting me.
After this we would still talk but he was acting distant and weird. I have such severe anxiety that whenever he wouldn't reply for a while i would get paranoid he was going to stop talking to me and disappear. I told him before we slept together that i didn't want it to ruin our friendship, and we both said we wouldn't let it, so i would keep sending messages if he didn't reply, and i would get really angry sometimes saying i think he just used me and now had no interest in speaking, especially if he read the messages and didn't respond, or if he was visibly on other social media but had not got back to me. I did this for a week and was pretty bad.
He would always reply eventually saying he was just busy or was out and that i needed to chill out and calm down, but i still continued. Our sex had ended and we weren't hanging out anymore so i kept feeling like this was the reason we weren't seeing each other anymore. I tried many times to invite him somewhere or ask if he wanted to do things but he kept declining. He told me the way i was being was pushing him away and i needed to just relax and if i stopped going off if he didn't get back we could hang out and be normal friends. I was also insisting i still wanted to sleep together which may not have helped.
So the other day we were talking and i asked him if we were honestly ever going to hang out because i wasn't going to keep trying and reaching out to be friends with someone who didn't want to be. He told me that it would be a bit awkward to hang out with how i kept complaining at him and going off on him and that maybe if i stopped and calmed down we would eventually. So because i was upset i told him maybe my feelings were too strong and i should just stop talking to him, and he responded saying he understood and thinks maybe i am right as i seem in pain about all of this. How nonchalant he seemed about everything made me pretty upset because i felt he didn't even care. Our texting continued and he said he wanted to help me with my concerns of pregnancy as last time we slept together we had a little mishap and are hoping that i am not pregnant, but he had had enough of me going off and was turning his phone off.
So i responded saying i just felt like he didn't care and felt like he was just blowing me off and i have tried so hard to be a friend to him and maintain a friendship with him. I also said i was concerned about the pregnancy thing and i really wanted and needed his help with that as i don't currently have any income. I even called him twice to try and talk to him to which of course he never picked up. Then hours later he got back to me. He said that he wanted me to sign up for something to where he could wire me money to help out get tested for pregnancy and then this needed to stop. The amount he offered was a few hundred so i am not sure why he was offering me so much. He said he was a nice guy but i have pushed him away. I got too intense and clingy and i am making him miserable, but he said he cared about me and wanted to help out. He said i had 24 hours to get him the details and if he didn't have them by then he was just going to block me from everything, but he said i f i did he would wait to hear the results. He also said if i continued going off at him he would have no choice but to block me from everything and just leave me to it.
So yesterday i sent him a fb message saying that i hope he was feeling better and that i was sincerely sorry for everything and i never meant to push him away or make him stressed. I wanted to stay friends but i understood if he didn't want to and assumed he would be blocking me from everything as i do not want him to feel pushed into a corner or blackmailed and i was declining the money because it wasn't his responsibility to be sending that much and i would just find a way to test myself, and obviously if he wanted to support me i would welcome it. He read it, but he never replied to it nor did he block me, although he said if i declined he would block me from everything.
I really don't know what to do. I hate bad feeling with people and feel like my clingy intense behavior has pushed away someone i really cared about and wanted to maintain a friendship with. I want to fix it. I am not sure why he never blocked as he said he would.
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