So, I've been married to my wife for about 8 years now. Mostly I think we have it really good. We share a lot of interests, we have great sex *usually* twice a week sometimes less when things are stressful...I mean there's really nothing to complain about.
Except for the fact I do. I think we have a role reversal on our hands because, I'm always the one that brings up the need to talk about our emotions, she's the calm reticent one who acts like I'm creating problems where there are none. I probably am.
Rewind to when we first met, I remember after kissing her after our second date, once I was alone in the car driving home and yelling to myself about how boring she was. Yet I stayed with her. Then a few months later, I tried to break up with her. She sent me an email saying she wanted to work things out, and I was like oh alright...hahah. And now we've been married 8 years.
But I keep feeling like maybe I'd be happier if I moved on. I'm almost certain I am wrong. Prior to meeting her I had a pattern of harshly judging each and every girl I dated, trying to drag them into liking the same hobbies etc. I even did that to my wife, though it made more sense and was easier because we already shared a lot.
I have a (what I think is) good habit of turning almost everything on myself when I have a negative emotion about my marriage. If I think she's boring, what about how she perceives me? I have very narrow interests and am an extremely nerdy person. If I think she's gaining weight, what about me being completely un toned and flabby? In other words, I'm trying not to fall in a trap of judging her and thinking I deserve better when in all honesty, what we have is great and I probably don't "deserve better."
What often happens I think is she gets stressed either due to hormones or family drama going on and I freak out and overreact and think our marriage is bad as a result.
I forgot to mention she doesn't drive and doesn't have a career AND doesn't wand kids. I have a career and have to do all the driving between us, but I'm agnostic about wanting kids. If she wants them great if not, I'll be fine, I've got really great hobbies.
I can't help but wonder sometimes though if I've made a mistake. Would I be happier with a woman who has a career, who has more ambition, who wants children?
Prior to marrying this woman, I was a very idle and unproductive man. Now I am very productive, enjoy my hobbies and my job.
Something tells me I really need to stop my periodic questioning of what I have and just cherish her. I don't know...
Anyone care to comment with what little background I gave?
If anything I said seems ridiculous, it probably is, I grew up very sheltered. Extremely sheltered. So much it probably emotionally crippled me. Yet, I'm introspective enough to realize this before I wreck what good things I have.
Except for the fact I do. I think we have a role reversal on our hands because, I'm always the one that brings up the need to talk about our emotions, she's the calm reticent one who acts like I'm creating problems where there are none. I probably am.
Rewind to when we first met, I remember after kissing her after our second date, once I was alone in the car driving home and yelling to myself about how boring she was. Yet I stayed with her. Then a few months later, I tried to break up with her. She sent me an email saying she wanted to work things out, and I was like oh alright...hahah. And now we've been married 8 years.
But I keep feeling like maybe I'd be happier if I moved on. I'm almost certain I am wrong. Prior to meeting her I had a pattern of harshly judging each and every girl I dated, trying to drag them into liking the same hobbies etc. I even did that to my wife, though it made more sense and was easier because we already shared a lot.
I have a (what I think is) good habit of turning almost everything on myself when I have a negative emotion about my marriage. If I think she's boring, what about how she perceives me? I have very narrow interests and am an extremely nerdy person. If I think she's gaining weight, what about me being completely un toned and flabby? In other words, I'm trying not to fall in a trap of judging her and thinking I deserve better when in all honesty, what we have is great and I probably don't "deserve better."
What often happens I think is she gets stressed either due to hormones or family drama going on and I freak out and overreact and think our marriage is bad as a result.
I forgot to mention she doesn't drive and doesn't have a career AND doesn't wand kids. I have a career and have to do all the driving between us, but I'm agnostic about wanting kids. If she wants them great if not, I'll be fine, I've got really great hobbies.
I can't help but wonder sometimes though if I've made a mistake. Would I be happier with a woman who has a career, who has more ambition, who wants children?
Prior to marrying this woman, I was a very idle and unproductive man. Now I am very productive, enjoy my hobbies and my job.
Something tells me I really need to stop my periodic questioning of what I have and just cherish her. I don't know...
Anyone care to comment with what little background I gave?
If anything I said seems ridiculous, it probably is, I grew up very sheltered. Extremely sheltered. So much it probably emotionally crippled me. Yet, I'm introspective enough to realize this before I wreck what good things I have.
Put the internet to work for you.
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