I do good all day long trying to stay occupied, keep my thoughts busy. But at the end of the night thats when the longing and memories come out. Ugh! For some reason this break up feels harder than my divorce. I rationalize that most of the memories ill have again with someone else down the line. But their are certain things we did that I won't do again with anyone else. For example she used to watch dogs once in awhile at people's houses. I would come along with her. Those memories are amazing and im really sad I wont get to do that again.
I've not talked to her in almost a month. Im no where near ready to date anyone. Yet my mind tricks me into thinking she probably already is. Why do our minds do that? It does me no good to think if she is talking with someone the way she used to with me. Or if she has already dated or kissed someone. That thought makes me sick. That maybe she brought someone back to the apartment we shared that just two months ago shared so much promise for us. Ugh I want these to stop. I know she's not a nun and will date and have sex again. I guess I just want her to not be ready to yet. That maybe our relationship isnt that easy to move on from.
I've not talked to her in almost a month. Im no where near ready to date anyone. Yet my mind tricks me into thinking she probably already is. Why do our minds do that? It does me no good to think if she is talking with someone the way she used to with me. Or if she has already dated or kissed someone. That thought makes me sick. That maybe she brought someone back to the apartment we shared that just two months ago shared so much promise for us. Ugh I want these to stop. I know she's not a nun and will date and have sex again. I guess I just want her to not be ready to yet. That maybe our relationship isnt that easy to move on from.
Put the internet to work for you.
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