It seems he almost needs someone to crush on. First it was a youtube vlogger, who he knew before he met me and was seemingly really into, as he messaged her several times, one time saying how "unique" and "amazing" she is (that is while we knew each other but weren't together yet), and another time while we were already in a serious relationship, he jokingly asked her out making up the whole story about him going to the city she lived in at the time just to do that. There were more messages than that too. Lead to an ugly fight after I found out, which was already when we were married. After that it was some other girl whose vids he kept watching, and always saying how awesome she was. When we had date nights we would watch videos all the time, and I noticed when I turned around, he would touch himself to her videos. When I was right there. He continued to do so even after being caught. I confronted him about it sometime down the road. Eventually that one seemed to fade as well. Now it's this girl who makes music. He watches her vids and talks about her pretty often, about how amazing and talented she is (which is true). I don't mind it, except he keeps bringing up messaging her. When we talk about her it often leads to him asking if we should ask her this or that. I usually politely say it's not necessary. It just sounds like he's trying to subtly ask permission to message her, and keeps pushing it even though I already stated my opinion about it. I would have no problem with this if he just enjoyed the music, but why does he always have to take it to personal level and actually try to contact her? I know it's normal to have crushes when you're married, celebrity crushes are pretty innocent. But he seems to want to act out on it and contact the person, like it was with that other girl he asked out while we were together. Our marriage right now is pretty great (he tells me he loves me all the time, shows affection, does thing s that make me happy) though it hasn't always been this way. I thought when we would get over certain resentments (his porn addiction, my snooping, lies, and feeling disconnected due to all that) these crushes would go away, but it just seems when one fades another takes its place even when our relationship is great. He never cheated, though he did act suspiciously with his female friends, who he is no longer in contact with. Are these obsessions a sign of his urge to stray? Boredom? I don't know anymore.
Put the internet to work for you.
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