Hi,
This is my first time here, and I guess it's pretty normal to say I don't want to be here. Am feeling all kind of screwed up, and can't really talk to friends or family about this.
Me and my husband have been married for 10 years, together for going on 20, both early 40's, two young kids. Our marriage is what i'd call pretty normal - no previous affairs that I know of although I have had suspicions once or twice.
He's been acting oddly the last few weeks - almost nicer to me than usual, and on his laptop a lot more. This morning I just got an odd feeling, and opened his laptop - it was open on his FB page, and a private conversation was going on right in front of my eyes. He was out at the supermarket using FB on his phone, messaging one of the school mums. He does all of the school stuff, as I work and he does the home stuff. I've only ever had one conversation with her, I didn't even know he was FB friends with her. I don't snoop and check up on him all of the time, I just had this feeling that something wasn't right, and it seems that I had good reason. From the messages, it's obvious that they haven't got as far as sex yet, but they clearly are close. It's flirting - 'I can't stop thinking about you,' 'How am I going to get through half term without seeing you everyday,' 'I need to see you, to talk and ... more' 'you're turning me into a lovesick teenager' 'I'm good with my hands, I could show you,' 'can't get through the day without a glimpse of you' 'you're all I can think about from the moment I wake to the moment I go to bed,' - heavy flirting, but not yet meeting and sex. It's pretty obvious they've been flirting and messaging for a while, and that left alone it will most probably go further. What do I do? Do I say anything before it goes further? Do I stay quiet and try to get more info in the same way? Will saying something send them underground and they'll do it anyway? I am so bloody angry with him. Our kids, our marriage, our home... our whole lives, and he is calling some other woman gorgeous and telling her he can't stop thinking about her or wanting her. Am gutted. He used to say those things to me. Is there a wise way to handle this? I don't know if I should just tell him what I know or wait and see if it develops. But if I wait and they go further, will that make it harder / impossible to ever trust or be happy again? Sorry, rambling. Just all kinds of confused and don't know what to do for the best.
This is my first time here, and I guess it's pretty normal to say I don't want to be here. Am feeling all kind of screwed up, and can't really talk to friends or family about this.
Me and my husband have been married for 10 years, together for going on 20, both early 40's, two young kids. Our marriage is what i'd call pretty normal - no previous affairs that I know of although I have had suspicions once or twice.
He's been acting oddly the last few weeks - almost nicer to me than usual, and on his laptop a lot more. This morning I just got an odd feeling, and opened his laptop - it was open on his FB page, and a private conversation was going on right in front of my eyes. He was out at the supermarket using FB on his phone, messaging one of the school mums. He does all of the school stuff, as I work and he does the home stuff. I've only ever had one conversation with her, I didn't even know he was FB friends with her. I don't snoop and check up on him all of the time, I just had this feeling that something wasn't right, and it seems that I had good reason. From the messages, it's obvious that they haven't got as far as sex yet, but they clearly are close. It's flirting - 'I can't stop thinking about you,' 'How am I going to get through half term without seeing you everyday,' 'I need to see you, to talk and ... more' 'you're turning me into a lovesick teenager' 'I'm good with my hands, I could show you,' 'can't get through the day without a glimpse of you' 'you're all I can think about from the moment I wake to the moment I go to bed,' - heavy flirting, but not yet meeting and sex. It's pretty obvious they've been flirting and messaging for a while, and that left alone it will most probably go further. What do I do? Do I say anything before it goes further? Do I stay quiet and try to get more info in the same way? Will saying something send them underground and they'll do it anyway? I am so bloody angry with him. Our kids, our marriage, our home... our whole lives, and he is calling some other woman gorgeous and telling her he can't stop thinking about her or wanting her. Am gutted. He used to say those things to me. Is there a wise way to handle this? I don't know if I should just tell him what I know or wait and see if it develops. But if I wait and they go further, will that make it harder / impossible to ever trust or be happy again? Sorry, rambling. Just all kinds of confused and don't know what to do for the best.
Put the internet to work for you.
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