I'm not one to say that all long-distance relationships (LDRs) are a mistake. Obviously, in certain circumstances, not only are they necessary but they can also work. However, for my first two years if university I was in a LDR, and it remains the single biggest regret of my life to date.
Don't want to upset anyone here, but I want to warn those of you who may be considering an attempt at long-distance, having just left school to go to uni. I know right now it feels like he/she is the one, that you will never love anyone else, you can't imagine life without them, etc. But you are sooo young. You have not experienced the adult world.
Throughout the course of my 2 year LDR, I changed so much as a person, and my now ex-boyfriend didn't. We grew apart. It was inevitable. We lived in different cities, had completely different lives, educations, interests. The only thing we had in common was each other, by the end. I was a fool to ever contemplate the heartache that is a long-distance scenario, especially at the tender age of 17, when I packed my suitcase, kissed him goodbye and hopped on a train to go to uni, as if expecting it to all be plain-sailing.
When you are in a relationship, if you cannot learn from each other and grow as a couple, you have nothing left to keep you together. If you fail to inspire and interest each other, your love fades and you become miserable.
Long-distance, in my experience, is like torture. You constantly cannot have the one thing you want most- your boyfriend/girlfriend- because they are so far away. With that, you cannot fully concentrate on, enjoy or commit yourself to university life and your studies.
You will meet amazing, like-minded people at uni. People who you click with on an unimaginable level. If you're wrapped up in a delusional LDR, these opportunities will pass you by.
While I have some lovely memories from my LDR, these are very much tainted by the grief I felt every time we departed after a visit and by the regret I feel from having put myself through so much ****. When you're just a kid, just left school, its honestly not worth it. 9/10 LDRs I've known since starting uni have failed- surely that's something to go by.
Many of you may read this and hate me for it, but honest to god- If I could go back in time, i'd never have got into a LDR, especially when so young. Some very exceptional young couples manage it- they scrape through the 4/5 years of pain- but, at the end of all that, can they honestly say that they enjoyed university 100%? And can they honestly say they're with the right guy/girl?
Put the internet to work for you.
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