It's been a rocky road since the birth of kids. Wife had post partum, twice. Lots of issues. We tried counseling, it failed. I just withdrew.
3 years ago, we needed her to go back to work... which she did. Her workplace was exploitative and she became a workaholic. A match made in hell. Over time her work grew to take over and impact our family life. Wife become perpetually stressed, and then stress eating her way to obesity.
Increasingly her time spent with the kids is in front of the TV, as she has no energy for anything else...
I lived with it, always hoping it would get better, always looking for a way... until I found some credit card bills in the thousands of dollars that I didn't know about... Money frittered away on fast food and clothes - I gather a reaction to stress.
Given these cards, her work appeared to be costing us as much as she's bringing in. I'm exhausted by it all, and didn't deal with it head on. Instead asked her to quit her job and refocus on family.
Having her at home hasn't been much improvement. She's still a stress basket. The kids don't want to do anything other than watch TV, which she obliges, as it's easy and lets her sit on the couch and read twitter on her phone. When I get home, she'll proudly show some counters she cleaned, as if it is a victory worthy of someone who spent 8 hours at home. I try to respond well, but inside I'm like horrified.
It seems that at all turns, she finds ways to make things difficult for herself, and then wastes no time in complaining about how hard for her.
We are educated, middle class people, who could have had a great life together, and have the wherewithal to put a lot of attention and mindfulness into how we raise our children.
I don't even know where to begin with all of this. Playing games with the kids or taking them to a part risks a battle, as they just want to watch TV, or go shopping with mom.
If I express any issue with this, I'd just be dismissed as controlling.
About a month ago, I just broke down in tears when I had this sudden realization of loss.
I'm weary, and find myself checking out. I'm playing video games, and find myself holing up in the basement watching TV which I really haven't done in years. I'm drinking more than I should be to. Went to the doc and got antidepressants a month back, but forget to take them half the time. Just feel myself sliding into a hole of unhappiness.
I try to bury myself in a hobby, but it doesn't really make up for the feeling of loss on the family-front. Really, I'm even losing energy for my hobby.
My wife is a workaholic, shopaholic, foodaholic. My kids don't talk much about anything other than shopping or TV now. They are great kids, but I see them on a slow path to a sedentary life.
Really, we could have had so much more, and I feel like our family life has become something broken, with no indications that it could get better, or even be otherwise.
I should probably go see someone, but am having trouble working up the motivation.
To be blunt, suicide is not an option, nor is Divorce - But I just feel trapped.
Not even sure where to begin with a family situation that seems so broken.
Any insights appreciated.
3 years ago, we needed her to go back to work... which she did. Her workplace was exploitative and she became a workaholic. A match made in hell. Over time her work grew to take over and impact our family life. Wife become perpetually stressed, and then stress eating her way to obesity.
Increasingly her time spent with the kids is in front of the TV, as she has no energy for anything else...
I lived with it, always hoping it would get better, always looking for a way... until I found some credit card bills in the thousands of dollars that I didn't know about... Money frittered away on fast food and clothes - I gather a reaction to stress.
Given these cards, her work appeared to be costing us as much as she's bringing in. I'm exhausted by it all, and didn't deal with it head on. Instead asked her to quit her job and refocus on family.
Having her at home hasn't been much improvement. She's still a stress basket. The kids don't want to do anything other than watch TV, which she obliges, as it's easy and lets her sit on the couch and read twitter on her phone. When I get home, she'll proudly show some counters she cleaned, as if it is a victory worthy of someone who spent 8 hours at home. I try to respond well, but inside I'm like horrified.
It seems that at all turns, she finds ways to make things difficult for herself, and then wastes no time in complaining about how hard for her.
We are educated, middle class people, who could have had a great life together, and have the wherewithal to put a lot of attention and mindfulness into how we raise our children.
I don't even know where to begin with all of this. Playing games with the kids or taking them to a part risks a battle, as they just want to watch TV, or go shopping with mom.
If I express any issue with this, I'd just be dismissed as controlling.
About a month ago, I just broke down in tears when I had this sudden realization of loss.
I'm weary, and find myself checking out. I'm playing video games, and find myself holing up in the basement watching TV which I really haven't done in years. I'm drinking more than I should be to. Went to the doc and got antidepressants a month back, but forget to take them half the time. Just feel myself sliding into a hole of unhappiness.
I try to bury myself in a hobby, but it doesn't really make up for the feeling of loss on the family-front. Really, I'm even losing energy for my hobby.
My wife is a workaholic, shopaholic, foodaholic. My kids don't talk much about anything other than shopping or TV now. They are great kids, but I see them on a slow path to a sedentary life.
Really, we could have had so much more, and I feel like our family life has become something broken, with no indications that it could get better, or even be otherwise.
I should probably go see someone, but am having trouble working up the motivation.
To be blunt, suicide is not an option, nor is Divorce - But I just feel trapped.
Not even sure where to begin with a family situation that seems so broken.
Any insights appreciated.
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