My husband and I have been married for 10 years. When we got together he told me (and many times since we have been together) that he had not been sexually involved with anyone since his high school girlfriend at age 17. We were 28 when we got together, so that would have been about 12 years of celibacy. He said it was by choice. Anyway, he knows that I had been with several men. I have been thinking all this time that we were open and honest about things like that. So today I come home from work and errands and he says he got a call from his dad to call child services. They say that he has a 16 year old daughter who is now in foster care. We are waiting to do the DNA test, but if it turns out he does have a 16 year old daughter this means he has been lying to me the whole time. He says he does not even remember meeting the mom or know anyone with the name Kelly, let alone sleep with this woman. Our marriage already has issues as he is military and was go ne for long spans of time on deployment. Also I know he has lied to me about other things. I chose to let them slide, but this to me is a big deal. My first husband who I had been with for 8 years cheated on me with my best friend and got her pregnant, now this. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago due to some female issues, but never got pregnant by either man. So now I am 38, my 2nd marriage is already rocky and I have no interest in taking care of some teenager we did not even have a clue about. If I had wanted kids at some point I would have tried adoption or something. I am afraid to talk to him much about things as it is and I know this is really stressing him out. I am trying to be supportive, but quite frankly I am the one who had been keeping this relationship going for so long I have just become very standoffish and this new situation is certainly not going to make it better. I am going to start going to a therapist ASAP. Just found out today about the kid. Just co uld use some advice.
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